When you start a blog at a young age you don't really know what to write, my blog has been the place where I write thoughts and random anecdotes since the beginning and now? Now I want to stop doing what I feel I should be doing and start with something new. Writing about the things I want to pos about and not worry whether I'm good at them or not. You see, I don't follow blogs about peoples inner most thoughts on the world, I read blogs about shopping and about make-up, reviews on what people think is best. I follow blogs about photography and baking and I follow the occasional DIY blog, so I've been asking myself why if this what I'm interested in am I wasting time talking about love and stars and other nonsense?
My priorities in life and my interests have started to evolve, I've noticed it and the people around me have too - the fact that I've started to take an interest in things which before never made me think twice. So now I hope you will all be able to stick with me as I try this out.
Over the coming weeks, months, maybe years I will be writing reviews (not just of make-up or hair styles or other blogs but of films and theatre shows and all sorts) I've got the Hummingbird Bakery Challenge and I'm going to start sharing my adventure through the use of images, quotes and all sorts. I don't really know what my blog will become, but it's not staying the same and I think that's clear from all the recent changes being made, but I hope you will like it as both myself and my blog do a bit of a transformation.
Much love as always,
Harriet
xxx
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
Monday, 29 December 2014
The Hummingbird Challenge: Lemon Cupcakes
Cupcakes aren't hard to make, it's always pretty much a case of measure the right ingredients add them together and then shove it into the oven. The Hummingbird cupcakes were much the same and so there isn't too much I can comment on - except for the detailed instructions. my favourite being "beat on slow speed until you get a sandy consistency" at this point I knew I was doing well since I could imagine myself laying inside the bowl making sandcastles, eating ice cream and waving at cute life guards. I wish!
With the minor set back of cutting my finger whilst grating lemon zest out of the way, I managed to put all 12 cupcakes neatly into the oven, set the timer and off I went to clean and wash. This is where they burnt. Being given the option of "20-25 minutes" I thought, fantastic I'll put it on 20 then I'll know when to check them as they'll probably need 25. Rookie mistake! As I pulled them from the oven I found they looked more like brown hills than golden delicious cupcakes.
At this point I opted for the optional "small spoonful of lemon curd" in the middle, allowing me to cut out the nasty lumps and instead have lovely flat, slightly well cooked, cupcakes.Hallelujah - Goodbye hills.
When it comes to baking I generally like to use a good old wooden spoon, it feels more handmade and I always get better results however since I started baking at 10pm I thought I'd save time and use the Kenwood. Which was going just great until I forgot that icing sugar is like the Houdini of baking and escapes the bowl every time you to go to turn the silly thing on!
In the end, once they had been neatly constructed and the icing had been whisked to "light and fluffy" perfection they didn't look half bad. Although these cakes are certainly for those with a sweet tooth, they aren't the tart lemon flavour you expect but instead invoke a scrunching of the nose as you adjust to the sweetness and then a sudden release when you realise just how mouth wateringly brilliant they are. Burnt bits and all. 
I'm now curled up in bed, feeling rather smug that I managed to complete my first bake, without throwing the whole thing away, plus I'm certain I'll only get better in time! Next I'm thinking maybe a biscuit? Or possibly the Lemon Bars, since I've got six lemons sat downstairs without any zest left! Whoops!
Until next time,
HarrietCorey
xxx
Saturday, 27 December 2014
My Hummingbird Bakery Challenge.
Hello friends, mermaids, princesses and orks!
It's the day after Boxing Day - Yay! You have officially made it through Christmas without being killed, nor I hope have you murdered any of your family members... If you have then please don't tell me!
I had a wonderful, wonderful Christmas and I'm truly lucky to have the friends and family that I do, with lots of quality time spent together and a fair amount of presents and food I think I've sufficiently revelled in the Christmas Cheer enough to last me right the way through to next December!
The thing I love most about Christmas is not being given presents, nor is it the food, but it's the look on someone's face when they open their presents from me! The best reaction this year goes to the boyfriend who upon opening his Northern Lights bath bomb spilt it all over himself, raised his eyebrows in confusion and muttered "well it's all water themed"... I thought he'd be smart enough to guess from the wind up whale coupled with the Northern Lights Lush bath bomb that I was taking him on holiday. He wasn't and he didn't and so his reaction when he opened a travel guide with a letter attached was priceless. Yes boyfriend, yes I am taking you to Iceland - best girlfriend ever? Oh I know!
Why am I posting? Oh I remember, I wanted to tell you about a new project I've decided to do! You see, The Boyfriend's mother gave me a cook book for Christmas. It's the Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook and it's a beautiful pink colour with lots of yummy photos of cakes on the front. Flicking through it I decided I loved the idea of everything in it and wanted to make it all. So for my 2015 challenge I'm going to make my way through the book, baking each of the recipes and posting the results, the reactions and the process! Since I'm not a fantastic cook but I love to bake I decided this would be a great way for me to learn some new skills!
Within this beautiful book there are 15 cupcake, 15 cake, 9 pie, 8 bar/slice, 6 muffin and 5 biscuit recipes. Yes - that's 58 recipes! That's four recipes a month... think I can do it? No, neither do I but I'm going to try my damn hardest to do it! After all, why set yourself an easy task when you could do something crazy?
So friends I'll keep you updated! I'm possibly going to start before the New Year, since I have so many to make and nothing to do with myself for the next few days!
Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!
Lots of love
HarrietCorey
xxx
It's the day after Boxing Day - Yay! You have officially made it through Christmas without being killed, nor I hope have you murdered any of your family members... If you have then please don't tell me!
I had a wonderful, wonderful Christmas and I'm truly lucky to have the friends and family that I do, with lots of quality time spent together and a fair amount of presents and food I think I've sufficiently revelled in the Christmas Cheer enough to last me right the way through to next December!
The thing I love most about Christmas is not being given presents, nor is it the food, but it's the look on someone's face when they open their presents from me! The best reaction this year goes to the boyfriend who upon opening his Northern Lights bath bomb spilt it all over himself, raised his eyebrows in confusion and muttered "well it's all water themed"... I thought he'd be smart enough to guess from the wind up whale coupled with the Northern Lights Lush bath bomb that I was taking him on holiday. He wasn't and he didn't and so his reaction when he opened a travel guide with a letter attached was priceless. Yes boyfriend, yes I am taking you to Iceland - best girlfriend ever? Oh I know!
Why am I posting? Oh I remember, I wanted to tell you about a new project I've decided to do! You see, The Boyfriend's mother gave me a cook book for Christmas. It's the Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook and it's a beautiful pink colour with lots of yummy photos of cakes on the front. Flicking through it I decided I loved the idea of everything in it and wanted to make it all. So for my 2015 challenge I'm going to make my way through the book, baking each of the recipes and posting the results, the reactions and the process! Since I'm not a fantastic cook but I love to bake I decided this would be a great way for me to learn some new skills!
Within this beautiful book there are 15 cupcake, 15 cake, 9 pie, 8 bar/slice, 6 muffin and 5 biscuit recipes. Yes - that's 58 recipes! That's four recipes a month... think I can do it? No, neither do I but I'm going to try my damn hardest to do it! After all, why set yourself an easy task when you could do something crazy?
So friends I'll keep you updated! I'm possibly going to start before the New Year, since I have so many to make and nothing to do with myself for the next few days!
Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!
Lots of love
HarrietCorey
xxx
Wednesday, 24 December 2014
Christmas Eve?!
Aloha festive friends!
^ I don't know what that was about, I just felt like calling you all festive friends! Why? Well do you really need to ask? It's CHRISTMAS EVE!
Ok - so the capitals may be a bit much since I haven't been feeling very festive today but who cares? Unfortunately I'm starting to think that this sudden loss of festivity is natural for someone like me. I'm that girl who counts down the dreary November days refusing to do anything Christmas related until the moment it hits midnight on December 1st where I can be found decorating my room and blaring Christmas music as loudly as I can get away with. I then revel in the festive spirit, buying presents, drinking spiced cider, planning decorations and wishing everyone and anyone "Merry Christmas". Then it gets to the week of Christmas and suddenly I get really tired and nothing seems festive any more - I get called a grinch and told I'm selfish and have high expectations which can never be met.
It's a lie.
I've realised that this sudden sadness comes from the realisation that I have nothing else left to prep, my presents are under the tree and my boyfriend has been sent on his way gifts in hand. Whilst my family rush around last minute shopping I'm sat at home just waiting. It's just a sad fact that this year it's come really late and I've not got much time left to feel festive again. So I turned to a Facebook Group I'm part of, it's a group for people called "Sharkies" , and I can't possibly sum up how amazing they are in such a quick blog post but they're a group of wonderful people who wear, worship and rock Black Milk Clothing. (Seriously go check it out, it's Ah-mazing) From these lovely people I was sent lots of photos of pets with Christmas hats on, cats in front of twinkley lights and lots of kind messages but one lovely ladies advance stood out to me.
^ I don't know what that was about, I just felt like calling you all festive friends! Why? Well do you really need to ask? It's CHRISTMAS EVE!
Ok - so the capitals may be a bit much since I haven't been feeling very festive today but who cares? Unfortunately I'm starting to think that this sudden loss of festivity is natural for someone like me. I'm that girl who counts down the dreary November days refusing to do anything Christmas related until the moment it hits midnight on December 1st where I can be found decorating my room and blaring Christmas music as loudly as I can get away with. I then revel in the festive spirit, buying presents, drinking spiced cider, planning decorations and wishing everyone and anyone "Merry Christmas". Then it gets to the week of Christmas and suddenly I get really tired and nothing seems festive any more - I get called a grinch and told I'm selfish and have high expectations which can never be met.
It's a lie.
I've realised that this sudden sadness comes from the realisation that I have nothing else left to prep, my presents are under the tree and my boyfriend has been sent on his way gifts in hand. Whilst my family rush around last minute shopping I'm sat at home just waiting. It's just a sad fact that this year it's come really late and I've not got much time left to feel festive again. So I turned to a Facebook Group I'm part of, it's a group for people called "Sharkies" , and I can't possibly sum up how amazing they are in such a quick blog post but they're a group of wonderful people who wear, worship and rock Black Milk Clothing. (Seriously go check it out, it's Ah-mazing) From these lovely people I was sent lots of photos of pets with Christmas hats on, cats in front of twinkley lights and lots of kind messages but one lovely ladies advance stood out to me.
"1) treat every day like Christmas - love and give
and be grateful everyday if the year!
2) there's room for everyone on
the nice list - people make mistakes and any moment is the perfect
moment to accept that,
fund peace and move on peace and acceptance does not equal forgiveness
though, remember to be a cold hard bitch if someone has wronged you!
3) the best way of
spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear - so go and sing
along to some Christmas tunes! I like Bruce Springsteen doing Santa Claus is
coming to town - or do something else you're good at just Christmas themed!
Like nails or makeup, writing a christmassy poem or story or going for a cold
walk with hot spicy tea at the end of it "
I have never felt so festive so quickly. I'm now sat in my Christmas jumper (courtesy of Alex) next to the Christmas tree with the lights twinkling in the corner of my eye and listening to very festive music, I'll admit it - I did just listen to Justin Beiber Mistletoe and I regret nothing, and so now I've regained some of my previous festive love.
I don't know why I decided that you my friends need to hear this advice too, maybe as a just in case. Christmas is after all just one day of the year, we spend all month waiting for this one day and it's going to end so quickly and I think it's ok to be a bit disappointed since we then have to wait a whole year to use the "Christmas excuse" to just be continually happy and generous and perfect.
So my new advice is don't put so much pressure on yourselves to make it perfect, I've done that every single year since I became old enough to buy my own presents and since I realised how important Christmas was. It's ok to just sit back and enjoy it for what is it! Stop worrying you've not got the right presents and don't fret that the Turkey will be overcooked! If those around you aren't feeling the festive spirit like you are then don't worry, there's nothing wrong with being excited for Christmas and there is absolutely nothing wrong with watching Love Actually on your own with a tin of celebrations. It may have been your family tradition before but there's nothing saying they have to do it with you! You are in control of how your Christmas goes, you can either be sad that it'll be over in 48 hours or you can throw yourself into that warm fuzzy pot of Christmas glitter and have a merry Christmas, your way.
So have fun wonderful people, I hope you eat too much and drink too much and above all enjoy every single minute of it,
Lots of festive love
HarrietCorey
xx
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Conflict Time Photography.
Good evening friends, family and mice -
I promised myself that I would write about the exhibition I went to last Tuesday for my mother's birthday outing, I also promised I would do a detailed post about my Christmas decorations this year - So tonight is that night!
Without any more hesitation I give you my experience of the "Conflict Time Photography" exhibition at the Tate Modern (In London for those of you who don't know)
The "Conflict Time Photography" exhibition was unheard of to me, I had previously been to the Tate Modern and so I knew it's style and I was expecting an abstract and interesting display - However I didn't quiet expect to experience what I did.
"Conflict, Time, Photography takes it's starting point from the great challenge of looking back, considering the past without becoming frozen in the process." - this was written in a booklet given to us on entering the space. It's a few days later and so I cannot possibly remember everything I saw but there are some parts which I feel I must share with you and so I implore you to go and see the exhibition for yourself. Trust me, it's worth it!
The rooms were set out depending on how many years had past between the conflict and the photographs on display. These started from "moments later" and continued in rough decades until we reached 100 years later. The conflicts included were vast, not focused on any particular war like so many other exhibitions but ranged from the Crimea (1853-1856) to the present day conflicts of Afghanistan and Iraq.
This exhibition was unlike any other, when you imagine war photography you think of in the action, right on the front line, dead bodies and bloody scenes. Here? No, none of that. In fact in the entire gallery I saw one photo of some skeletons and that was it. Instead the exhibition focuses on what happens after, on the scenery and the artifacts left behind. From areal photographs of a desert strewn with machine debris to part of a spectacle found fused to someones eye socket. The most interesting part was you that you had to read the text alongside the image. All too often we see a photograph or look at some art and move on. We never stop to think. This exhibition made you do that, it forced you to see these landscapes and these objects in a new light and it did it well.
The most harrowing photographs which left the biggest impression on me were in the last room, they had been taken 99 years after WW1 entitled "Shot at Dawn". Chloe Dewe Mathews went back to some of the places where around 1.000 English, Belgian and French soldiers were shot for desertion. On the anniversary of their deaths, at the rough time they were shot Mathews did her own shooting, taking haunting photographs of normal landscapes where men were killed because they were, in most cases, too afraid to continue fighting. It's very easy to forget about war, what happens and the after effects - or in this case the lack of. When contemplating "Shot at Dawn" I felt a strange sense of unease, the same as if you were looking at a graveyard or photographs of dead bodies, people died here, and now it's been turned to art.
The exhibition really bought home the sense that we need to both look back and look forwards, that no amount of time can make up for what we have done to each other and done to our planet. Once you do something you cannot take that action back - I'm sure if we could go backwards we wouldn't have shot those deserters, we wouldn't have bombed Hiroshima and we wouldn't have followed Thatcher into war. But we did. Maybe not you and I, but as a human race we did those horrible, unthinkable things and now? Now we are left with the scars and memories and history textbooks telling us what we did and what others did wrong.
The worst part of the exhibition, above all of this, was the idea that we so often blame other people, So easily we can say "WWI and WWII were not our fault, we were doing what we had to do." but sometimes that's wrong, sometimes we were the ones, and by we I meant England, who caused the problems, who hurt the people and who helped bomb cities. I think we often forget that no matter how horrible others have been to us, we have been just as bad to them in return, if not worse. You could see separate galleries showing photos from the different wars but by juxtaposing Vietnam (1956-1975) to the Paris Commune (1871) via both World Wars, Afghanistan and everything in between then you can see a much larger picture and to be perfectly honest with you? It's scary.
I got a bit morbid there - I apologise, but in all seriousness if you get a chance go to the Tate Modern, then please do. Pay the mere £14.50 for entry and marvel at the forgotten moment, the left behind objects and the hidden pictures from a century of War and Conflict.
http://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/exhibition/conflict-time-photography
Tate Modern: Exhibition
26 November 2014 – 15 March 2015
Adult £14.50 (without donation £13.10)
Concession £12.50 (without donation £11.30)
Under 12s go free (up to four per parent or guardian)
Anyway good friends, I'm heading to bed as it's very early in the morning! I shall show you my Christmas decorations later (I'm very excited for this) in the mean time, do have a look into the exhibition, it really is worth going to!
Sleep well and lots of love,
HarrietCorey
x
I promised myself that I would write about the exhibition I went to last Tuesday for my mother's birthday outing, I also promised I would do a detailed post about my Christmas decorations this year - So tonight is that night!
Without any more hesitation I give you my experience of the "Conflict Time Photography" exhibition at the Tate Modern (In London for those of you who don't know)
The "Conflict Time Photography" exhibition was unheard of to me, I had previously been to the Tate Modern and so I knew it's style and I was expecting an abstract and interesting display - However I didn't quiet expect to experience what I did.
"Conflict, Time, Photography takes it's starting point from the great challenge of looking back, considering the past without becoming frozen in the process." - this was written in a booklet given to us on entering the space. It's a few days later and so I cannot possibly remember everything I saw but there are some parts which I feel I must share with you and so I implore you to go and see the exhibition for yourself. Trust me, it's worth it!
The rooms were set out depending on how many years had past between the conflict and the photographs on display. These started from "moments later" and continued in rough decades until we reached 100 years later. The conflicts included were vast, not focused on any particular war like so many other exhibitions but ranged from the Crimea (1853-1856) to the present day conflicts of Afghanistan and Iraq.
This exhibition was unlike any other, when you imagine war photography you think of in the action, right on the front line, dead bodies and bloody scenes. Here? No, none of that. In fact in the entire gallery I saw one photo of some skeletons and that was it. Instead the exhibition focuses on what happens after, on the scenery and the artifacts left behind. From areal photographs of a desert strewn with machine debris to part of a spectacle found fused to someones eye socket. The most interesting part was you that you had to read the text alongside the image. All too often we see a photograph or look at some art and move on. We never stop to think. This exhibition made you do that, it forced you to see these landscapes and these objects in a new light and it did it well.
 |
| "Shot at Dawn" Chloe Dewe Mathews |
The exhibition really bought home the sense that we need to both look back and look forwards, that no amount of time can make up for what we have done to each other and done to our planet. Once you do something you cannot take that action back - I'm sure if we could go backwards we wouldn't have shot those deserters, we wouldn't have bombed Hiroshima and we wouldn't have followed Thatcher into war. But we did. Maybe not you and I, but as a human race we did those horrible, unthinkable things and now? Now we are left with the scars and memories and history textbooks telling us what we did and what others did wrong.
The worst part of the exhibition, above all of this, was the idea that we so often blame other people, So easily we can say "WWI and WWII were not our fault, we were doing what we had to do." but sometimes that's wrong, sometimes we were the ones, and by we I meant England, who caused the problems, who hurt the people and who helped bomb cities. I think we often forget that no matter how horrible others have been to us, we have been just as bad to them in return, if not worse. You could see separate galleries showing photos from the different wars but by juxtaposing Vietnam (1956-1975) to the Paris Commune (1871) via both World Wars, Afghanistan and everything in between then you can see a much larger picture and to be perfectly honest with you? It's scary.
I got a bit morbid there - I apologise, but in all seriousness if you get a chance go to the Tate Modern, then please do. Pay the mere £14.50 for entry and marvel at the forgotten moment, the left behind objects and the hidden pictures from a century of War and Conflict.
http://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/exhibition/conflict-time-photography
Tate Modern: Exhibition
26 November 2014 – 15 March 2015
Adult £14.50 (without donation £13.10)
Concession £12.50 (without donation £11.30)
Under 12s go free (up to four per parent or guardian)
Anyway good friends, I'm heading to bed as it's very early in the morning! I shall show you my Christmas decorations later (I'm very excited for this) in the mean time, do have a look into the exhibition, it really is worth going to!
Sleep well and lots of love,
HarrietCorey
x
Tuesday, 2 December 2014
Let's do this again.
Hello world, it's been a while -
Since I no longer have a Boyfriend around to distract my attention (he's still my Boyfriend he's just stuck up North) I've decided it's high time I get back to blogging and paying my lovely readers some attention (I'm trying to get some of you back! Please love me again)
So I have decided... I'm going to start again, with a new layout and a new page name and to top it all of I'm going to start a YouTube channel - in fact, I've already started it... so click the hyper link and see what I'm up to in the days leading up to Christmas. Since we all know it's by far my favourite time of the year.
Now m'dears this won't be a long post as I'm off to London with my parents for my mother's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY) I think we are going to the Tate Modern, so I'll probably be posting about that tonight if I can get my editing software to work a bit better than last night.
Long story short? Hello! I'm back, I'm home, let's be friends again.
Loving you always
HarrietCorey
xxo
UPDATE: Well this failed fantastically, but I did then re-design my blog, forced it to grow up and now hopefully it should all be tickedy-boo! As for the Youtube channel? Yeah, that lasted a few days, Vlogmas is not the best time to start learning how to edit videos!
Since I no longer have a Boyfriend around to distract my attention (he's still my Boyfriend he's just stuck up North) I've decided it's high time I get back to blogging and paying my lovely readers some attention (I'm trying to get some of you back! Please love me again)
So I have decided... I'm going to start again, with a new layout and a new page name and to top it all of I'm going to start a YouTube channel - in fact, I've already started it... so click the hyper link and see what I'm up to in the days leading up to Christmas. Since we all know it's by far my favourite time of the year.
Now m'dears this won't be a long post as I'm off to London with my parents for my mother's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY) I think we are going to the Tate Modern, so I'll probably be posting about that tonight if I can get my editing software to work a bit better than last night.
Long story short? Hello! I'm back, I'm home, let's be friends again.
Loving you always
HarrietCorey
xxo
UPDATE: Well this failed fantastically, but I did then re-design my blog, forced it to grow up and now hopefully it should all be tickedy-boo! As for the Youtube channel? Yeah, that lasted a few days, Vlogmas is not the best time to start learning how to edit videos!
Sunday, 5 October 2014
So Here I am.
So I'm sat on my boyfriend's bedroom floor having spent the entire day packing his things, tidying his room and sorting things out. I asked him to transport everything downstairs into boxes so it can be packed into the van easily and neatly... it's taken him the best part of two hours. I am a very angry girlfriend. I have done the hard part. I am keeping it together. He is wondering about taking one handful of stuff at a time.
I haven't even hoovered yet.
It's the eve of Alex leaving and I feel like complete rubbish. He seems to be taking it in his stride, dawdling about and procrastinating at the last minute, and I'm sat on his floor with a glass of wine pretending I am fine. Well I'm not.
Alex has been a very big part of my life for the part year and a half and now that he's moving up North I'm starting to get that left-behind no-one wants you, good luck, have fun, entertain yourself, we don't give a shit feeling. I know that in fact, the only things I have to do are have fun and entertain myself but I can't help but think this is how pets feel when their owners go on holiday - maybe I should sit by the door howling until he returns... no, don't tempt me.
I know that in fact, I have six months of university left... that's all. Alex has signed a six month contract to his current place, which means that if, and I really do mean if, we manage to make the long distance thing work for six months we will eventually at the end of it all move into a place of out own. In Yorkshire.
Several things I have learnt about Yorkshire:
-It's 259 miles from my home
-It rains the majority of the time
-It's great if you like walking, painting, or speaking in a funny accent
-They have good shops, I'm talking Primark, Next, Shoezone, Asda
-It's a lot cheaper - £500 rent per month between two of us? Yes please.
-The theatre's seem to have a lot of shows on, normally a new one every day
As you can see, the fun Yorkshire facts are vaguely appealing, apart from the moving away from home - some of you lovely people might say "oh but what about the rain?" which would be a very valid point... if I wasn't extremely fond of all things rain related. Dancing in it, singing in it, jumping in the puddles, not to mention kissing in the rain. All highly romantic. Also the snow is said to be brrrrrr-illiant. Get it? Brrr.
On that terrible joke I'm going to go and find the bottle of wine, as my glass seems to have miraculously vanished.
Goodnight m'dears, sleep well and remember - a dream is a wish your heart makes.
HarrietCorey
xx
I haven't even hoovered yet.
It's the eve of Alex leaving and I feel like complete rubbish. He seems to be taking it in his stride, dawdling about and procrastinating at the last minute, and I'm sat on his floor with a glass of wine pretending I am fine. Well I'm not.
Alex has been a very big part of my life for the part year and a half and now that he's moving up North I'm starting to get that left-behind no-one wants you, good luck, have fun, entertain yourself, we don't give a shit feeling. I know that in fact, the only things I have to do are have fun and entertain myself but I can't help but think this is how pets feel when their owners go on holiday - maybe I should sit by the door howling until he returns... no, don't tempt me.
I know that in fact, I have six months of university left... that's all. Alex has signed a six month contract to his current place, which means that if, and I really do mean if, we manage to make the long distance thing work for six months we will eventually at the end of it all move into a place of out own. In Yorkshire.
Several things I have learnt about Yorkshire:
-It's 259 miles from my home
-It rains the majority of the time
-It's great if you like walking, painting, or speaking in a funny accent
-They have good shops, I'm talking Primark, Next, Shoezone, Asda
-It's a lot cheaper - £500 rent per month between two of us? Yes please.
-The theatre's seem to have a lot of shows on, normally a new one every day
As you can see, the fun Yorkshire facts are vaguely appealing, apart from the moving away from home - some of you lovely people might say "oh but what about the rain?" which would be a very valid point... if I wasn't extremely fond of all things rain related. Dancing in it, singing in it, jumping in the puddles, not to mention kissing in the rain. All highly romantic. Also the snow is said to be brrrrrr-illiant. Get it? Brrr.
On that terrible joke I'm going to go and find the bottle of wine, as my glass seems to have miraculously vanished.
Goodnight m'dears, sleep well and remember - a dream is a wish your heart makes.
HarrietCorey
xx
Friday, 26 September 2014
Welcome To The Flip Side.
Hello old friends, hello new friends, hello to all you stragglers I left behind.
I'm back, maybe not with a bang but I am back, and for now I'm here to stay. A lot has happened since my last post to you, a whole year and a bit ago. Or at least, it feels like a lot!
Remember that guy? The box labelled and soon to be moving away guy? Well he's gone... going to Yorkshire the miracle being that at this moment in time we are planning on staying together, like really stay together and as far as things look when I finish university in 7 months time I'm going to move up there to be with him... jobs depending of course.
Remember B&Q? Well I left, I found a job at Primark with more hours, more money and more ways to progress... I left three months later. I won't bitch or complain, but fair warning if you're going to go work at Primark it's a very lonely place to work, especially for someone so sociable and chatty it drove me absolutely potty.
Remember University? I'm in my last and final year with nine hours a week and not much work to do I think..,
Remember Cheerleading? Yes, well I was a National Champion last year, had an accident and now I've been signed off and can't cheer this year.
So that's my life summed up into four tiny tiny paragraphs.
I guess the main question should be why am I back? What at this time possessed me to re-start and old failing blog with not many viewers? Honestly'? I feel like my life is starting to change a hell of a lot, boyfriend moving away, friends abroad, possibly moving to Yorkshire and I'm pre-empting that at some point in the near future it's all going to become a bit too much. So if I have this blog I will be able to talk to the world wide web about it, and then promptly move on and forget!
Hey! A blog is a lot cheaper than therapy!
See you soon m'dears,
Love you always
HarrietCorey
I'm back, maybe not with a bang but I am back, and for now I'm here to stay. A lot has happened since my last post to you, a whole year and a bit ago. Or at least, it feels like a lot!
Remember that guy? The box labelled and soon to be moving away guy? Well he's gone... going to Yorkshire the miracle being that at this moment in time we are planning on staying together, like really stay together and as far as things look when I finish university in 7 months time I'm going to move up there to be with him... jobs depending of course.
Remember B&Q? Well I left, I found a job at Primark with more hours, more money and more ways to progress... I left three months later. I won't bitch or complain, but fair warning if you're going to go work at Primark it's a very lonely place to work, especially for someone so sociable and chatty it drove me absolutely potty.
Remember University? I'm in my last and final year with nine hours a week and not much work to do I think..,
Remember Cheerleading? Yes, well I was a National Champion last year, had an accident and now I've been signed off and can't cheer this year.
So that's my life summed up into four tiny tiny paragraphs.
I guess the main question should be why am I back? What at this time possessed me to re-start and old failing blog with not many viewers? Honestly'? I feel like my life is starting to change a hell of a lot, boyfriend moving away, friends abroad, possibly moving to Yorkshire and I'm pre-empting that at some point in the near future it's all going to become a bit too much. So if I have this blog I will be able to talk to the world wide web about it, and then promptly move on and forget!
Hey! A blog is a lot cheaper than therapy!
See you soon m'dears,
Love you always
HarrietCorey
Monday, 16 September 2013
Going Backwards
Morning lovely blog addicts!
So why am I up at such a godforsaken hour? Well I'm going back to school. I don't know why, no it's not because I'm impeccably stupid and need to retake anything. My dear friend Harriet and I decided it would be a good idea to go back and see Miss Mercer, our old drama teacher and the only reason I got any A Levels at all!
See, in theory this is a great idea. We can go back all grown up and chipper and show her how amazingly we are doing and thank her for all her help to get us to where we are now. The only thing is that I don't actually have that much to show for my first year of university. I've spent countless nights drunk (she won't want to know about those) I've been in a student film (I haven't even seen it so how am I supposed to know if it's good or not?) I've audition for one play (I didn't get further than the first callback) I've spent more hours cheerleading than in lectures and seminars (ok, so I danced on national TV but it still doesn't count) and I somehow managed to get a first... Through sheet luck and some very late night essay writing!
But what does that really mean? Some people have been all over the county. Some people have been in countless plays, now hold a position on the drama society comity and some have even bee in a film or two... Me? Nada!
So I question how I am supposed to go back into the school that spent 7 years trying to teach me, who helped me become the girl I was this time last year and say "hey! All that hard work? All that time trying to discover who I was? I lost myself the day I went to University"
I've got to admit its more than a little peculiar getting up at six, getting ready to go and catch a train to be picked up by Harriet and then get a bacon sandwich before going to school! It's like being back in sixth form only this time I'm allowed to wear what I want, I have two tattoos and my hair is a different colour! Oh and I'm not going there to learn anything!
So mon amies (see, I still use my GCSE's at least!) I'm off to the past to see it somehow it can help me work out what to do in the present!
Muchos love
HarrietCorey
Xox
So why am I up at such a godforsaken hour? Well I'm going back to school. I don't know why, no it's not because I'm impeccably stupid and need to retake anything. My dear friend Harriet and I decided it would be a good idea to go back and see Miss Mercer, our old drama teacher and the only reason I got any A Levels at all!
See, in theory this is a great idea. We can go back all grown up and chipper and show her how amazingly we are doing and thank her for all her help to get us to where we are now. The only thing is that I don't actually have that much to show for my first year of university. I've spent countless nights drunk (she won't want to know about those) I've been in a student film (I haven't even seen it so how am I supposed to know if it's good or not?) I've audition for one play (I didn't get further than the first callback) I've spent more hours cheerleading than in lectures and seminars (ok, so I danced on national TV but it still doesn't count) and I somehow managed to get a first... Through sheet luck and some very late night essay writing!
But what does that really mean? Some people have been all over the county. Some people have been in countless plays, now hold a position on the drama society comity and some have even bee in a film or two... Me? Nada!
So I question how I am supposed to go back into the school that spent 7 years trying to teach me, who helped me become the girl I was this time last year and say "hey! All that hard work? All that time trying to discover who I was? I lost myself the day I went to University"
I've got to admit its more than a little peculiar getting up at six, getting ready to go and catch a train to be picked up by Harriet and then get a bacon sandwich before going to school! It's like being back in sixth form only this time I'm allowed to wear what I want, I have two tattoos and my hair is a different colour! Oh and I'm not going there to learn anything!
So mon amies (see, I still use my GCSE's at least!) I'm off to the past to see it somehow it can help me work out what to do in the present!
Muchos love
HarrietCorey
Xox
Friday, 13 September 2013
Sell By Dates
Evening Blog lovers, haters and frequent stalkers...
So romance and love and relationships are funny little things. We put so c effort and attention into them, and what is it all for? I mean, I've had some pretty normal and pretty weird relationships, you all knew that before now though - I mean. I blog about most of them, or mention them. Or to be fair most of you are my friends (Probably chiefly Harriet) but I think I've topped the weirdness scale this time.
My current relationship has a sell by date.
Entering into a relationship with someone new is so exciting and the temptation of the un-known is overwhelming in most cases, it was a little like this with my current boyfriend. We met at work and it was only ever supposed to be "Just a fling" it had been boxed, labeled and classified before we even began. Slowly and surely it became more, we ended up "Seeing each other casually" and then "Seeing each other not so casually" swiftly followed by a full-blown "break up which isn't a break up because we were never actually together" before he came to his senses and realised that actually I meant a little more to him than either of us realised and before we knew it we were official. It's been that way for two months now and I love it. I like having someone to text and someone who I know will be there for me at the end of the day. He's always there if I need a hug or a chat or to take me out for a drink after a stressful day at work. The only problem is that our relationship is living on borrowed time, it's only a matter of time until everything ends.
He's 7 years older than me, he's been to University and the fact that he's back working at B&Q and living with his parents is a really sore subject. He hates it and who wouldn't? His dreams are bigger and better than that and one of the, well I guess, one of the conditions of us having any kind of serious relationship was that when he needed to move away for work, or he found a better job our relationship would be over. In a really selfish way I'd been hoping it would never amount to this, that maybe our relationship would be over through me pressing my oh-so-famous self destruct button before he could move away and leave me but he told me today that he's been selected for a management course within the company and will probably be going to lots of different stores. I know I sound like a total bitch with my previous comments but I'm so terribly proud of him and so excited for him too, it's just the realization that my relationship probably only has until October 22nd and then it's over?
The question is, is there any point in carrying on if there's no future in it? I've been hoping the whole time that something would happen and we'd be OK - but it's always there in the back of my mind. How long do we have left? When is it going to be over? Will I be able to handle it? How on earth is that break up conversation going to go?
It's be brilliant for some reasons though, every cloud has it's silver lining after all, it's all been very "live in the moment" I've been able to do things I've never done before, spontaneous things and all that. Silly little things like staying at his for two nights in a row, going to the zoo, the cinema, suggesting date ideas which I'd never have done if I thought we had all the time in the world. But it's getting a bit weird now he's saying "oh no, we'll do it in October, or November" and I'm sat thinking, yes sounds perfect but we haven't got time for that. Our relationship will be over before we even get that far... gosh I make it sound like one of us is dying! It's terrible I know but it's also a bit pathetic to feel like you're rushing things because it's not going to be like this much longer.
I care about him a lot, and I hate feeling like I'm going to be holding him back if we continue being together - but it won't just be him, I've got to start University again in a few weeks, which means less overtime at work, no days off and all my friends will be back. I've never ever been good at juggling a relationship with work, friends and school which is why this summer fling has been so damn perfect. I haven't had to worry about Uni and I've been at work every other day - which means I've seen him almost every other day since we started going out. But now? Now I'm facing the reality that I may not be able to cope and something, or someone, is going to suffer. I just hope for once it isn't me.
Well bloggies, sorry to be such a boring and complaining cow - but hey sometimes that's just life and sometimes we need to just type and type and type and not look back? No regrets remember?
Love you always
HarrietCorey
xox
So romance and love and relationships are funny little things. We put so c effort and attention into them, and what is it all for? I mean, I've had some pretty normal and pretty weird relationships, you all knew that before now though - I mean. I blog about most of them, or mention them. Or to be fair most of you are my friends (Probably chiefly Harriet) but I think I've topped the weirdness scale this time.
My current relationship has a sell by date.
Entering into a relationship with someone new is so exciting and the temptation of the un-known is overwhelming in most cases, it was a little like this with my current boyfriend. We met at work and it was only ever supposed to be "Just a fling" it had been boxed, labeled and classified before we even began. Slowly and surely it became more, we ended up "Seeing each other casually" and then "Seeing each other not so casually" swiftly followed by a full-blown "break up which isn't a break up because we were never actually together" before he came to his senses and realised that actually I meant a little more to him than either of us realised and before we knew it we were official. It's been that way for two months now and I love it. I like having someone to text and someone who I know will be there for me at the end of the day. He's always there if I need a hug or a chat or to take me out for a drink after a stressful day at work. The only problem is that our relationship is living on borrowed time, it's only a matter of time until everything ends.
He's 7 years older than me, he's been to University and the fact that he's back working at B&Q and living with his parents is a really sore subject. He hates it and who wouldn't? His dreams are bigger and better than that and one of the, well I guess, one of the conditions of us having any kind of serious relationship was that when he needed to move away for work, or he found a better job our relationship would be over. In a really selfish way I'd been hoping it would never amount to this, that maybe our relationship would be over through me pressing my oh-so-famous self destruct button before he could move away and leave me but he told me today that he's been selected for a management course within the company and will probably be going to lots of different stores. I know I sound like a total bitch with my previous comments but I'm so terribly proud of him and so excited for him too, it's just the realization that my relationship probably only has until October 22nd and then it's over?
The question is, is there any point in carrying on if there's no future in it? I've been hoping the whole time that something would happen and we'd be OK - but it's always there in the back of my mind. How long do we have left? When is it going to be over? Will I be able to handle it? How on earth is that break up conversation going to go?
It's be brilliant for some reasons though, every cloud has it's silver lining after all, it's all been very "live in the moment" I've been able to do things I've never done before, spontaneous things and all that. Silly little things like staying at his for two nights in a row, going to the zoo, the cinema, suggesting date ideas which I'd never have done if I thought we had all the time in the world. But it's getting a bit weird now he's saying "oh no, we'll do it in October, or November" and I'm sat thinking, yes sounds perfect but we haven't got time for that. Our relationship will be over before we even get that far... gosh I make it sound like one of us is dying! It's terrible I know but it's also a bit pathetic to feel like you're rushing things because it's not going to be like this much longer.
I care about him a lot, and I hate feeling like I'm going to be holding him back if we continue being together - but it won't just be him, I've got to start University again in a few weeks, which means less overtime at work, no days off and all my friends will be back. I've never ever been good at juggling a relationship with work, friends and school which is why this summer fling has been so damn perfect. I haven't had to worry about Uni and I've been at work every other day - which means I've seen him almost every other day since we started going out. But now? Now I'm facing the reality that I may not be able to cope and something, or someone, is going to suffer. I just hope for once it isn't me.
Well bloggies, sorry to be such a boring and complaining cow - but hey sometimes that's just life and sometimes we need to just type and type and type and not look back? No regrets remember?
Love you always
HarrietCorey
xox
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
Exhaustion
Hey my lovers, haters and kick ass fighters!
So I've only just woken up - and have had a grand total of not very much sleep, and I'm beyond exhausted! But the question is why on earth was I awake at stupid o'clock in the morning? Firstly I have been updating my blog, changing the colour scheme and the header and as you can see I had two blogs to post as well!
I then began talking to one of my super good friends about tattoos, when I started university I didn't have any. Then I met Lauren and now I have two, which I love and I was talking to her last night about her newest tattoo craving (a pink flamingo) which is so very her and I can't imagine her not having a flamingo tattoo at some point in her life!
But it got me thinking about the two tattoos I've been wanting for ages and ages;
Número UNO: whenever I'm hurting or whenever I'm upset there's one thing people tell me to be, they never tell me to cheer up and to smile - be brave, be strong is all I can ever remember anyone saying to me. Now as you l know I'm a very Disney girl, I absolutely love it and when Sirius passed away the first thing I thought as I stood in the street and one of my best friends told me to "be brave" was "I'm only brave when I have to be" which I couldn't remember where it was from.
It was only later watching the lion king that I realised and it was something Muffasa tells the young version of Simba. The idea is that this tattoo will be on my ribs on the right hand side, like it's curved under my boob. It'll be a reminder that I am strong and I am brave when I need to be, but also a bit of a reminder that it's ok not to be brave all of the time.
The second tattoo I want is again Lion related, Iove them more than anyone realises - I genuinely think it's only my family, my best friend and Alex (who only knows because we went to the zoo) that know just how much I worship them. Being a Leo I've always felt close to them and they're so strong and powerful and beautiful that I couldn't ever imagine not loving them. The idea for the tattoo is a little weird, originally I was going to get both a lion and a lioness walking side by side, since they're such loyal lovers but then I decided that for now I would just get the lioness - representing me and then when I find the right person I want to marry and who I think is my soul mate then I would add the lion in next to her. I know it's a bit of a soppy romantic story but that's kind of how I've always wanted it!
So I've had very very little sleep now thanks to blogs and lions and tattoos but I'm really excited to start designing them and to go and book for the first one! Yay!
Anyways my lovelies I'm going to bed again as I'm ridiculously tired!
HarrietCorey
Xox
So I've only just woken up - and have had a grand total of not very much sleep, and I'm beyond exhausted! But the question is why on earth was I awake at stupid o'clock in the morning? Firstly I have been updating my blog, changing the colour scheme and the header and as you can see I had two blogs to post as well!
I then began talking to one of my super good friends about tattoos, when I started university I didn't have any. Then I met Lauren and now I have two, which I love and I was talking to her last night about her newest tattoo craving (a pink flamingo) which is so very her and I can't imagine her not having a flamingo tattoo at some point in her life!
But it got me thinking about the two tattoos I've been wanting for ages and ages;
Número UNO: whenever I'm hurting or whenever I'm upset there's one thing people tell me to be, they never tell me to cheer up and to smile - be brave, be strong is all I can ever remember anyone saying to me. Now as you l know I'm a very Disney girl, I absolutely love it and when Sirius passed away the first thing I thought as I stood in the street and one of my best friends told me to "be brave" was "I'm only brave when I have to be" which I couldn't remember where it was from.
It was only later watching the lion king that I realised and it was something Muffasa tells the young version of Simba. The idea is that this tattoo will be on my ribs on the right hand side, like it's curved under my boob. It'll be a reminder that I am strong and I am brave when I need to be, but also a bit of a reminder that it's ok not to be brave all of the time.
The second tattoo I want is again Lion related, Iove them more than anyone realises - I genuinely think it's only my family, my best friend and Alex (who only knows because we went to the zoo) that know just how much I worship them. Being a Leo I've always felt close to them and they're so strong and powerful and beautiful that I couldn't ever imagine not loving them. The idea for the tattoo is a little weird, originally I was going to get both a lion and a lioness walking side by side, since they're such loyal lovers but then I decided that for now I would just get the lioness - representing me and then when I find the right person I want to marry and who I think is my soul mate then I would add the lion in next to her. I know it's a bit of a soppy romantic story but that's kind of how I've always wanted it!
So I've had very very little sleep now thanks to blogs and lions and tattoos but I'm really excited to start designing them and to go and book for the first one! Yay!
Anyways my lovelies I'm going to bed again as I'm ridiculously tired!
HarrietCorey
Xox
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
Confidence To Try
Hey Bloggers, Lovers, Haters, Aliens and Strangers!
So this summer has been a bit of a different one, I haven't been to France and I haven't been at home, instead I've been in good-old Canterbury mainly working but there has been an exciting new venture in my life! As I've previously blogged about, I'm a University Cheerleader for the University of Kent Performance Squad (The Falconettes) and it is from this that I began talking to my now housemate Charlotte about cheerleading. It turned out that she had been part of a professional cheerleading squad the summer before who cheer for the Kent Spitfires (The County Cricket Team) at their Twenty20 Matches and YB40 matches.
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It was a bit random but she asked if I wanted to try out with her back in Spring time and obviously thinking it would be very similar to cheering at American Football games I said yes! I was asked to prepare a short cheerleading routine. I had no idea what to expect so decided I would just go along, have some fun and perform part of my University Cheer routine! (Since I'd never done any real dancing before, let alone choreography!) So I got all dressed up in my high pony tail and glitter and caught the bus to the St Lawrence cricket grounds - considering I had never been before I was in total awe, the amount of seating and the size of the pitch was spectacular to little old me in her glitter and trainers. Luckily I had Charlotte there with me, I think I'd turned white as I turned to her and gulped "Does it really get that full?"
After a couple of weeks of waiting I got the message that I was being asked back by Tanya (Head Cheerio and Choreographer extraordinaire - gosh I hope she never sees that!) for another audition, this time with more of the girls! So again I turned up the next week, shaking, nervous and no idea what to expect! It was when I walked into the gym following behind "Miss Herne Bay" that I suddenly realised how out of my depth I was - or I thought I was!
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| Featured in the Newspaper |
Still I smiled, even when the local newspaper came to take photos and I danced as best I could! Quickly picking up the routine but failing to perform it very well - have I mentioned yet that I've never done proper dancing before? No? Oh well guess what? I'd never danced properly before!
To be honest with you blog readers, I left that audition knowing that I'd done horribly, I've done a few auditions for plays and such in my short time on this planet and I know when something has gone awfully wrong - Tanya was lovely during the auditions and the other girls were joking around, smiling, laughing and made me feel totally a part of the group! (Most of them were coming back for their third year so all knew each other) and I cannot tell you how disappointed in myself I was, I genuinely went home and curled up in bed and cried the glitter off my face - I felt like it was a disaster.
A few days later I received a text - "Hello just to let you know that you are in the squad for the spitfire sweethearts. Can you make a meeting on Monday afternoon? Well done! I will discuss payment etc on Monday" I screamed. I was in work at the time and I so vividly remember turning to one of the girls I work with Ellie and just grinning "I'm a professional Cheerleader"
From there it was a whirlwind couple of weeks full of 3 hour long rehearsals every Sunday to get ready for the first match! Being one of three new girls in the squad I had to learn 3 routines and fast! Whatever I had thought this squad would be like I was so so wrong. I remember the first rehearsal, full of pirouettes, high kicks, complicated counts and would looked like an impossible routine - we weren't cheerleaders, we were dancers. But something really strange happened, I picked it up and I learnt the routines and even though I was so stupidly nervous, when the first match came I knew the dances and I performed in front of hundreds of people at the county cricket grounds with Sky TV filming...
I have never been so scared in my life.
But that was just the beginning of what turned into an amazing summer! I've spend my Sundays rehearsing with the squad, and long days cheering and dancing in front of up to 4000 people at a time! On big screens and everything! I've even been shown on Sky Sports behind an interview shaking my pom poms and looking like a grinning idiot.
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What's surprised me the most about the summer is the fact that, despite being so nervous and never having danced before these girls gave me the confidence to go out there and "Shake your pom poms" whenever I felt like giving up, or I wasn't good enough (and that happened a lot) there was always someone there to knock some sense into me and make me smile, so I owe all of it to them, my beautiful cheerios!
Of course it wasn't always a barrel of laughs, Twitter has been a dangerous media during my time as a Spitfire Sweetheart and I'd become obsessed with checking what people had said about us;
" #spitfiresweethearts are shit"
"Lack-luster performance"
"Thunder Thighs"
"Too much sweets and notenough hearts"
This is only a small sample, but they got a lot worse! It used to really get to me, like I said I became obsessed, paranoid about my figure and I would spend a lot more time before match days fixing my hair and makeup worrying what horrible things people were going to say next. What I swiftly and thankfully realised was that no matter how many negative comments we got, there was always someone at the ground on the day who came up and thanked us, an audience who clapped for us, men who complimented us and countless people telling us how well we had done and what a joy it was to watch us. It was this kind of responce that I began to pay attention to and that's when I realised how much I loved being a part of something that made people smile! Then it didn't matter whether they were laughing with us, or at us because we were having fun and putting in all our efforts to make our routines amazing. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing, even the critique and I cannot wait for next year to be bigger and better than this!
So as I hang up my uniform for this season and put away the glitter I can't help but reminisce over what a fantastic summer it has been, and how I've gone out and done something I never in a million years thought I would do - So in case any of you ever see this I just want to thank Tanya from the bottom of my heart for giving me the opportunity and the rest of the girls for being so supportive and so much fun!
Heck I'm allready missing it so very very much- thank goodness University Cheer starts again soon
Muchos Love @5:30am
HarrietCorey
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| Lucy, Anna, Jessie, Me, Ashden, Eloise, Hayley, Morgan, Melissa |
If Home Is Where The Heart Is...
Hey blog viewers, I know it's been a while and my blog has become
somewhere that I can only really turn to when something happens or when I need
to let off some steam or I have something that needs to be said. Well
unfortunately it's a little bit of each of those this time and I'm sorry for
anyone that hast to read this but it's basically my way of ranting and raving
about whats happening in my life at the moment. But none of this is supposed to
sound like a sob story and I apologise if it does, especially to my family
since it obviously concerns them a lot, I'm writing it all down because it's
the only way I'm ever actually going to get over it all and come to terms with
everything happening so quickly and if it sounds over dramatic or attention
seeking then again I apologise because it's really not, it's just the way
everything feels at the moment.
Since coming to University I found it so hard to settle in, in my
first term I was going back and forth between here and home every week or so
and it was a great comfort to both me and my family knowing I was so close and
able to see them every few days. The second term was much the same and it was
only summer term that I really became independent. I suddenly decided to take
my job at B&Q more seriously and University suddenly became a lot more
interesting and it between this and my new job as a Spitfire Sweetheart (which
I will post about soon when the timing is right) that made me feel like I could
stand on my own two feet a bit more. It ended up that going home became
something I only did once or twice for special reasons, heck I didn't even go
home for Mothers Day.
It was when I went home about a month ago now, for a week, that my
family started to tell me everything that was going on in their lives and it
sounds pathetic and poetic and just stupid but it was when I was sat cup of tea
in my hand that my mum went "There's also some sad news" and my heart
sank, the last time she'd used that line it was when my kitten had been run
over and they weren't sure if he was going to be OK or not. This time isn't
much different, I'm sure I've posted about him before since he's such a
colossal part of my life and has been for the past 8 years. My dog Sirius
(named after the starts not the Harry Potter films) has a tumour in his mouth.
It's malignant and he is going to die, when my mum told me it wasn't a case of
years or months but more weeks and a month or so at best. I don't think I
really came to terms with that idea, after all I've not been at home, I've not
seen him getting worse but over the course of that week at home I realised how
slow and sad he had suddenly become, at that point he was eating and he was
playing with his ball and would curl up on the sofa with my mum in the evening
just like usual - he seemed OK and I think a part of me forgot what was going
to happen, so I never said goodbye. I don't know if it was on purpose or if I
simply forgot with the excitement of coming back to Canterbury but I didn't and
I've been waiting for the phone call from my mum ever since.
But it's been ok, each time I've spoken to my family I've been
told Sirius is fine, he has his low days and his high days and it's all looking
ok at the moment, until this week when I was speaking to my mum about plans for
my dad's birthday on the Friday. I only had the Friday off work and so it was a
case of either me going home for the day or my family coming to Canterbury to
see me, both of which sounded like really good options, until Wednesday when my
mum asked me to go home, my dad was working during the day so that was part of
it but Sirius was worse and she felt it was time I came home and said goodbye.
Again I managed to push it to the back of my mind, I had hundreds of things to
sort out and work every day and my boyfriend was staying the night Thursday so
I had plenty of things to occupy my time. Then on the Friday I caught the train
home, met up with my family and went to the cinema to see Simon Peggs new film
(it was awful). At 6 we got home, and pulling into our drive the first thing I
saw was the "For Sale" sign outside of our house. (This is where two
sob stories interject into being one)
I've known for a while that my parents weren't happy in the house
anymore and that they wanted a change of scene, my mum and dad had been talking
about moving since before I went to University and to be fair (and I'm sorry
family) I never thought it would happen as there was so much hesitation and
procrastination. I'd been told that day before that someone was going to take
photos of the house to put it on the market but it never crossed my mind that
the day after they would but the sign up outside. I've lived in my home my
entire life, it was the house I was taken back to after I was born, the place
where I lost my first tooth, where all our cats are buried, where most of my
happiest memories are. You see in films when parents decide to sell a house and
the kids aren't happy about it, the kicking down the sign and the tampering
with the property to make it so other people wouldn't buy it - I can honestly
say all of those thoughts went through my head. Maybe if I break down the sign
no-one will know and my family can stay living there whilst I finish at
University and then everything will be ok for when I come back - oh and
universe whilst you're at it could you work a miracle and make it so my dog's
tumour just goes away? Thank you.
I know, I'm being about as selfish as I can get!
So leaving the house thing for the moment and going back to
Sirius. When we got inside the thing I noticed first was the happy bouncing
puppy who I'd left behind a year ago - he seemed no different and for a split
second I thought it had all been a joke. Then I noticed the smell, to be fair
he is a dog and has never smelt of sunshine and buttercups but the smell of rot
and decay was slightly overpowering, to the point I had to go upstairs and
prepare myself for going back down to see him. Along with the smell was his
chest and front legs, they looked black from all the slobber and gunk which was
coming from his mouth, obviously where the tumour has grown closing his mouth
and swallowing and all these things we all take for granted he couldn't do. I
don't think my heart has ever actually been broken until I caught sight of him
in the kitchen, laying on the floor not moving, just staring into the distance
and I think that's the point it really hit home about what was happening - The
long and short is that my parents are going to decide soon when he should be
put down, he's sad and miserable and although he has his good days his bad days
are so bad that they're barely worth it anymore. It was with this idea in mind
that I had to say goodbye to him at 6 the next morning - 12 hours to come to
terms with the reality of the situations going on back home. Saying goodbye to
Sirius, our home being sold and our holiday home in France also being put on
the market (I'll explain in a second). When I sat down by his head (behind him
so I didn't have to smell his breath) and started to stoke his head I thought
he would get up, slobber on me, demand my affection and wag his tail - the most
he did was open his eyes and look up at me. Cue the tears, but I did it and
I've said goodbye and now I really am waiting for that call to let me know that
it's all over, that whilst I'm miles away doing my job, cheerleading for the
county cricket and hanging out with friends my family are having to make one of
the hardest choices they've had to make and it's killing me that I'm not there
for them, that I'm so far away but so close and yet there's still nothing I can
do.
As for the houses? Well my parent's don't know where they'll move
to, some of the ideas that have been considered are ridiculous (sorry family)
but so long as they're happy then that's all that matters. I think I'm about to
learn that home really is where your heart is - since both my homes are being
sold.
I've gone all emotional and teary again so I'll be quick saying
about France - When my Grandmother died my parents used the money to buy us a
holiday house in the Loire Valley, it was just a run down old barn without
heating, Internet and without any other English people around. When we were
younger my brother and I loved it, it was great fun making dens in all the
sheds, riding our bikes up and down the lanes pretending we were on mopeds like
in Zoey 101 (not that he would every admit it) Even before we got actually beds
and used to have to camp on little cots in the main room all together it was
family time and every summer we would love it. Then we got older and grumpy and
friends and boyfriends/girlfriends and parties and Internet became a lot more
important to us and we started wishing away the 4-6 weeks of bliss we had out
there, now my parents have decided they won't ever be able to make the house as
nice as they wanted and so are looking to sell it and buy somewhere nearer the
South, where they can go and not have to worry about doing all the DIY that
comes with our current house. I don't think they were actively going to sell it
yet - but they received a letter from a French Estate Agent asking would they
be prepared to sell it and I think it's been taken as a sign that this is the
right time and that it would be a good idea to sell both homes at the same
time, and I'm ok with that, like I said - so long as they're happy.
So there you have it, that's my somewhat crazy life at the moment.
I will get back to blogging properly soon - I promise, I just need
to get everything sorted in my life first!
xox
HarrietCorey
An Update:
I wrote this a while ago, several weeks ago in fact and I did post
it, but even though I managed to write down everything that was happening I
didn’t feel like I could actually post it – however since writing this post
Sirius has passed away. It’s been a few weeks since my mum called me crying and
I can safely say that even though I’ve spent two weeks at home since I haven’t
come to terms with it, he’s been such a massive part of my life that whilst at
home I kept imagining him, I’d throw some food on the floor and leave it for
him only to walk back into the room and realise he didn’t clean it up. I kept
hearing him shuffling around the house and countless times I would run
downstairs to let him into the house if it was raining. I think that’s been the
hardest bit, the two weeks where I was home and the house was still so full of
him, his toys, his memory, it’s like he was still there with us and I know the
rest of my family felt the same. That’s not to say I don’t miss him terribly, I’ve
been trying not to think about him too much because if I do then it takes a
while to stop and carry on with the day. But now I feel like I can post this to
the world and say hey – this is what has happened in my life, thank goodness
for my friends, my family and my boyfriend for all being there for me through
this. I know it’s been hard but without them I really wouldn’t have coped.
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
University - The Truth
It's pointless - sorry everyone who says it isn't but after yesterday I have officially decided that no, university is not a good use of time and money... I do have a proper case against it though so here goes -
My first ever first -
Yesterday I got an essay back with 72% (for those who don't go to Uni that means I managed to get a first!) which I was beyond thrilled with, actually I couldn't have been more happy... Not just because its a first but because it was a very unlikely result. This term I've had clashes with my extra curricular activities (cheerleading) have haven't attended my Tuesday lecture for one of my modules. Which in theory should mean I didn't know how to write the essay!
It doesn't stop there, my essay was on Ibsens "Hedda Gabbler" and the objective was to compare the women in the play to women in society now and look at how the play still has an impact. I haven't read the play. There you go readers! That's my biggest confession, I wrote a 2000 word essay on a play I've never read.
Then to top it off I researched and wrote and handed my essay in, all in a single day... Pathetic right? So HOW did I manage to get a first?! It should have been impossible!
Unless I'm a super genius and never knew it before now...
Highly unlikely right? But for the amount I'm paying to be at university you have to wonder what even is the point?!
Anyways rant over blog viewers!
Xox
HarrietCorey
My first ever first -
Yesterday I got an essay back with 72% (for those who don't go to Uni that means I managed to get a first!) which I was beyond thrilled with, actually I couldn't have been more happy... Not just because its a first but because it was a very unlikely result. This term I've had clashes with my extra curricular activities (cheerleading) have haven't attended my Tuesday lecture for one of my modules. Which in theory should mean I didn't know how to write the essay!
It doesn't stop there, my essay was on Ibsens "Hedda Gabbler" and the objective was to compare the women in the play to women in society now and look at how the play still has an impact. I haven't read the play. There you go readers! That's my biggest confession, I wrote a 2000 word essay on a play I've never read.
Then to top it off I researched and wrote and handed my essay in, all in a single day... Pathetic right? So HOW did I manage to get a first?! It should have been impossible!
Unless I'm a super genius and never knew it before now...
Highly unlikely right? But for the amount I'm paying to be at university you have to wonder what even is the point?!
Anyways rant over blog viewers!
Xox
HarrietCorey
Monday, 31 December 2012
Easy Transitons
So It's A New Year Tomorrow
Which always means reflection time - woo
Hey blog viewers! Missed me? I bet you did, deep deep down somewhere. At least, I kind of hope you did, as ever after a long period of not posting I apologise and explain why I didn't post - this time it was pathetic of me but I let some nasty comments get to me and so felt that being me posting on here was no longer a good idea. I'm sorry. I only wish I'd kept it up as so much has happened since I went for that Disney Audition and I can't really begin to explain, so maybe the highlights of my year will help?
So last year I knew that 2012 was going to be a big year for me, it was the year I turned 18, the year I went to University and the year I promised myself I'd learn to drive. I managed all of this and more and now that the year is out I cannot say that there is anything I would change. My last half year at WOK was the best and the worst, the best because we all became friends again, anyone in the year who had arguments or differences put these aside and we all forgave and forgot which meant it became the worst half year too since leaving was so hard. I will never be able to thank WOK or my friends there enough and it's weird to think I won't be seeing most of them again. Work commitments mean I miss out on the "Year 14 Celebration" which is slightly disappointing but honestly I think it would be far far far too weird going back again.
My last post was about my Disney audition, which I did kind of well in, I managed to get through to the second round and then messed up on my dancing, which was always going to happen! But it's one of those experiences I wouldn't change for the world, truly I loved every second of it and I'm almost certain I want to audition again. Just after I finish at Uni since I've already paid so much money to be there! As a side note to all the people who were commenting telling me that dreaming of being a Disney Princess was "pathetic" and "childish" I think that says more about you than it does about me, I have many times explained my love for Disney and I think it's sad that people don't have those dreams or feel the need to put down the few people left in this world who believe in true love and fairy tales.
As for University I managed, by some miracle, to get the grades and it was with this that I was packed off to The University of Kent. Uni so far had been pretty rough for me, I didn't like my course and I'm not entirely sure I do at the moment but I promised to wait it out as second year is apparently "a lot better" and more interesting! It's odd to think I've only been at Uni for a few months, I feel like I've been there all my life and I think this is largely down to my friends. It's an odd feeling but I'm hoping some of you have had this where you look at someone after having spoken to them for just ten minutes and something inside you just knows that you will be that persons friend for a long time. Yes? No? Well that's happened to me with several people and when I think of life before said friends I find it weird to think I didn't know them. It's largely down to this rag-tag group of people that I didn't give up and leave Uni and for that I am so grateful because after a lot of drama with housing for next year I've found a house for 6 of us to live in and I am so beyond excited, it's funny how something so little as finding a house to live in or people to live with can totally change your outlook on a situation!
I think the biggest influence on my not leaving Uni hast to be UKC Cheer, after trying out for the Raven's Pom Squad and not getting a place I joined the Falconettes, the game day and performance squad and I have never ever been more happy around a group of people than I am around the cheeries. Since joining I've made friends, mistakes and a fool of myself and I wouldn't have it any other way. There's something about just chilling with the Cheeries and Falcons that makes me feel like I belong somewhere, there's never a dull moment and it's through Cheer that I've met two of my future housemates and people I will call "friend" for life. So if any of you read this, and I doubt you will I just want to say thank you, for everything and for being there for me when I needed you even if you didn't realize it!
So all in all 2012 proved to be a rather special year and although 2013 doesn't technically have any big significance in my life I doubt there will be a dull moment - after all this is me we're talking about!
So blog viewers, I hope you have a lovely and wonderful and beautiful New Year and I promise I shall start to blog again, pinky swear!
xox
HarrietCorey
Which always means reflection time - woo
Hey blog viewers! Missed me? I bet you did, deep deep down somewhere. At least, I kind of hope you did, as ever after a long period of not posting I apologise and explain why I didn't post - this time it was pathetic of me but I let some nasty comments get to me and so felt that being me posting on here was no longer a good idea. I'm sorry. I only wish I'd kept it up as so much has happened since I went for that Disney Audition and I can't really begin to explain, so maybe the highlights of my year will help?
So last year I knew that 2012 was going to be a big year for me, it was the year I turned 18, the year I went to University and the year I promised myself I'd learn to drive. I managed all of this and more and now that the year is out I cannot say that there is anything I would change. My last half year at WOK was the best and the worst, the best because we all became friends again, anyone in the year who had arguments or differences put these aside and we all forgave and forgot which meant it became the worst half year too since leaving was so hard. I will never be able to thank WOK or my friends there enough and it's weird to think I won't be seeing most of them again. Work commitments mean I miss out on the "Year 14 Celebration" which is slightly disappointing but honestly I think it would be far far far too weird going back again.
My last post was about my Disney audition, which I did kind of well in, I managed to get through to the second round and then messed up on my dancing, which was always going to happen! But it's one of those experiences I wouldn't change for the world, truly I loved every second of it and I'm almost certain I want to audition again. Just after I finish at Uni since I've already paid so much money to be there! As a side note to all the people who were commenting telling me that dreaming of being a Disney Princess was "pathetic" and "childish" I think that says more about you than it does about me, I have many times explained my love for Disney and I think it's sad that people don't have those dreams or feel the need to put down the few people left in this world who believe in true love and fairy tales. 
As for University I managed, by some miracle, to get the grades and it was with this that I was packed off to The University of Kent. Uni so far had been pretty rough for me, I didn't like my course and I'm not entirely sure I do at the moment but I promised to wait it out as second year is apparently "a lot better" and more interesting! It's odd to think I've only been at Uni for a few months, I feel like I've been there all my life and I think this is largely down to my friends. It's an odd feeling but I'm hoping some of you have had this where you look at someone after having spoken to them for just ten minutes and something inside you just knows that you will be that persons friend for a long time. Yes? No? Well that's happened to me with several people and when I think of life before said friends I find it weird to think I didn't know them. It's largely down to this rag-tag group of people that I didn't give up and leave Uni and for that I am so grateful because after a lot of drama with housing for next year I've found a house for 6 of us to live in and I am so beyond excited, it's funny how something so little as finding a house to live in or people to live with can totally change your outlook on a situation! I think the biggest influence on my not leaving Uni hast to be UKC Cheer, after trying out for the Raven's Pom Squad and not getting a place I joined the Falconettes, the game day and performance squad and I have never ever been more happy around a group of people than I am around the cheeries. Since joining I've made friends, mistakes and a fool of myself and I wouldn't have it any other way. There's something about just chilling with the Cheeries and Falcons that makes me feel like I belong somewhere, there's never a dull moment and it's through Cheer that I've met two of my future housemates and people I will call "friend" for life. So if any of you read this, and I doubt you will I just want to say thank you, for everything and for being there for me when I needed you even if you didn't realize it!
So blog viewers, I hope you have a lovely and wonderful and beautiful New Year and I promise I shall start to blog again, pinky swear!
xox
HarrietCorey
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