Death.

Death is a funny thing

We never expect it until it's too late

My next door neighbor died this week, I won't say how but he was too young to die and his life was still good, he was only in his early 40's.

I've only experienced Death twice before, one was of an english teacher in year 8 and one was my Gramndma when I was in primary school. When you're young you don't understand Death, you don't realise how it effects people. I've never been very good when it comes to my emotions, sometimes i'm happy and sometimes I'm sad but when hearing my neighbor had passed away was something different, it made me think... I think alot about life any way but this was a different kind of thought, this was the idea that we spend our lives building our career, our family and then one day it ends. Some times suddenly without reason and sometimes slowly.

My neighbor's death was slow compared to someone being hit by a train and quick compared to people who wait their whole lives just to die. Every day we watch films like P.S I love you and we think "how sweet, I want to leave notes for all my family before I die" but what happens when you don't get this choice, what happens when you have an argument you need to resolve? It's hard to know what to do in the face of death, it's hard to know what to say or what to think. A very wise woman told me that the hardest thing to do when a family member has died is to know when to laugh or smile again, the questions fly around your head "When can I sit and watch tv?" "When is it ok not to cry anymore?" Honestly, I don't know. I've never lost a close family member or friend, i've lost people around me but never anyone i'm so close to that I have such greif.

-Carrying on a few days later-

I had to stop writing this post the other day, not because I was consumed by greif but simply because I didn't have the words to say how I feel about death. I'm going to visit the consentration camps in two weeks time so i'm going to have to find a way to show how I feel about this kind of thing.

 I guess readers, what I'm trying to say is that death is everywhere, it's all around and there is very little we can do to stop it (Unless you're Dr Who, but even he will die at somepoint) However when someone dies we are left with something precious. Something we should hold onto.. their memory. I've never forgotten my Grandma or my English teacher and I will never forget my next door neighbor. They may not be a part of my life anymore but they are a part of my past and no-matter how hard we try we cannot forget our past, I still listen to a song and it brings back memories of my Grandma or read a passage of Noughts and Crosses and think of Mrs. G and I doubt I will ever be able to hear a lawn mower without thinking of James out in his garden early in the morning, I hated all these things at the time but now i've come to love them because it reminds me of people who've be taken away.

So all I can really leave you with readers is a simple quote I found randomly on the internet:

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to loose"

xox
HarrietCorey