Individuality

We all like to think we are different

But what happens when we define that?

Good morning viewers, so a strange thought came into my head last night, one which I thought I'd share with you. We all want to be different, individual. If we feel we aren't original then we change our hair, our style, our personalities. A lot of the stuff we change isn't permanent, but with the invention of tattoos we are now able to change our body's with a strange form of art. Art is a funny thing, no-one ever really agrees if something can be deemed as "art" or not.

The thing with tattoos is they're supposed to make us individual. When you search tattoo into google images the main picture or stencil that comes up is a star. Stars symbolise bigger hopes and dreams, a far off place which we can only really dream about. From stars we have planets which hold hope for a new form of life, for astrologists and scientists it gives something to strive towards. Take the moon landing for example, each country was fighting for the best spaceship to take into space. America won. So the battle continued.

Tattoos each symbolise something different, however there is one tattoo which although the same has a completely different story behind each marking.

The Nazis gave each of their prisoners in the concentration camps a tattoo. Not a star, a heart or a pretty picture but a number. That number would take away their personality, from there on out they would no-longer be known by a name. They would forever be a number, the Nazi's didn't care about the individuals that they killed, just about the facts and figures. When we went to Krakow we didn't see a single photo of the tattoo and it's very rare that you'll walk down the street and see someone with a number on their arm. That's because it was turned to a sign of repression, of fate most of all, of death.

xox
HarrietCorey

The clocks change...

It would be quite nice if someone told me

as opposed to letting me think I'd gone mad

 

(Edit: apparently most of what I've said in this post is complete rubbish... goes to show how much I know about time changing and my sleeping pattern. No, it's not light when we get up... I found that out this morning when i threw open my curtains expecting sunlight and instead found darkness and a few stars. No, we don't get more sleep, we get less. Yes, I know even a baboon would have known this.)

Afternoon blog readers, lovers and haters! 

So guess what?! The clocks went forward, which I think means I get an extra hour of sleep? Although it does mean I have to go to bed early... so actually it means I get the same amount of time to sleep? I think? Would someone explain this please? 

What I have noticed though, is that on Heart FM this morning they decided they were going to accidentally say the wrong time, causing me way more confusion than was necessary... Apparently they apologised straight after but I'd changed over to listen to something else instead by that time! 

Now I know, deep deep down, that the clocks changing is a good thing, it means it's now officially light when we get up and light when we get home from school (which sucks because it means if I need to run down the hill to catch my train on time I don't get the usual darkness which until now was very useful at keeping my identity secret). However what happens to all those animals in the world (like my dog Sirius) who have internal body clocks? They know exactly when they should be fed and won't shut up until we've fed them at this time! I'm currently locked safe in my room so I won't be able to hear him begging for his food an hour early, which sounds incredibly mean of me but it's true! After a while he does get used to it, but for the fist few days he doesn't quite understand it! 

Another crazy thought just popped into my head, they were trying to make us go forward by two hours at one point weren't they? Meaning that right now it would be... five in the afternoon? What an awful waste of two hours! I know that we would have all been asleep, unless you're some crazy party animal who stays out until two, not some sad freak who can barely keep her eyes open past 11 at night. Of course I'm not talking about me here... ok. I lie, I am!

Ah heck, I still have an essay to do which I only just realised about... sorry readers but I have to go and write essays inside, while wishing I was outside in the sun... someone trade places? Pretty please?

Anyways love to you all

xox

HarrietCorey

  

Somethings just don't add up.

The weather is not an indication

of what kind of day you'll have.

Evening Blog readers! 

I witnessed an accident today, a boy crashed his moped into the back of a bus on his first lesson, he was sixteen. No don't worry, he is fine but it does make you put things into perspective.

For those of you living in the little slice of heaven (only on occasion) that is Kent you'll have seen the sky... no, not the usual cloudy dull and darkness but the actual blue of the sky above your head. For those of you in a rainy place I apologise for being a little bit smug and overly excited, I'm sure you'll have some sun soon... unless you're in Gloucestershire... It rains a lot there apparently. (Yes, I'm taking that from the well known nursery rhyme) 

So back to what I was originally trying to say, sometimes the weather can be perfect, not a cloud in the sky but horrible events will take place. Today I nearly missed my train so I ran down the hill with my friend Steph, yes we looked stupid. However we got halfway and started walking again, neither of us decided to start walking we just simultaneously stopped running. Not having walked more than five paces we heard a crash, a horrible screeching noise which really really didn't seem to be anything important until we turned around to check and saw a moped go into the back of a bus... the 205 to be precise. 

It's fair to say when the boy sat up Steph and I didn't have a clue what to do, however we did work out that calling an ambulance and standing shaking and smiling whilst trying our best to keep calm and chip in our accounts of what happened when anyone asked. 

I know this doesn't really make much sense... ever but it's really quite strange thinking that on such a perfectly sunny day something so awful could happen. As far as I know the boy was fine (I feel awful I don't even know his name) but he was up and walking about and getting into the ambulance when we were told we should leave so don't worry. In English we've been studying The Great Gatsby and the same idea occurs in that, the weather in the initial meeting between Gatsby and the love of his life Daisy it's raining, but not the romantic heavy rain but the drizzly stuff that no-one in their right minds likes. Then when Tom runs Mertyl over it's stiflingly hot, for all intense and purposes a beautiful day! Ordinarily in the movies, the books, the songs we hear how when someone dies it's raining outside, you can hear it on the window pain and the sadness of the situation seems worse simply because of the rain. Where as the hot weather usually means romance, rolling around in hay bails with farm boys, lazy days on the beach gossiping with your friends, not death, not accidents, not something so sad. It seems to me that when the weather doesn't match the tone of the day (like today for me) the whole world seems to start tipping slightly, not much but enough to think that yes, the world has finally lost it's mind.

I guess it goes to show how no-one can judge when a disaster is going to happen, when something good will come about and no-one will ever really understand how this world works. Seeing this accident and feeling the sun on my back has made me realise how nothing in this world seems to be connected. The earthquake in Japan happened at the same time as the riots in Lybia, leaving newspaper reporters confused as to which story will make better news. 

I guess you could also take the ideology that actually we are only interested in something when the news is bad, when someone dies or when our peaceful state of mind is threatened. You never hear stories which don't have a happy ending unless it has a sad beginning, you never hear of a sad ending unless it began happy. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone other than me, my thoughts aren't very coherent today not that they ever normally make sense :/ 

Well blog readers I'd better go to bed, I have a long day of drama rehearsals and English essays (none of which I have any idea what I'm doing! I think I'm going to have to find a year.13 to tutor me at this rate!)

Goodnight!

Love you all loads

xox

HarrietCorey

PS. This came up on my "following blogs" link thing and it made me laugh so check this out, it's two guys from my school's podcast and I found it hysterical in places, if a little random! 

               www.aquestionbasedpodcast.blogspot.com

  

Non-Contact Time...

So girls we want you to do work

Meaning discuss prostitution?

Gooooood morning blog lovers, hates and other alien forces.

I'm having a bit of a wierd week, for one I just got told I had a spider in my hair by two people who are supposed to be my friends... Actually I say friends but they're really just people I spend my free periods with, again I lie. They are my friends, they just think it's amusing to tell me I have a spider in my hair, refuse to get it out and then watch as I run across a room to get one of my more understanding friends to get the fictional spider out of my hair (which looks so, so messy today, but that's beside the point)

 These next few weeks are all about universities and exams and stressful things lie that. For instance my "good-friend-but-one-of-the-spider-plotters-who's-reading-over-my-shoulder" Richard is looking at different universities. He wants to go to Oxford (but he's checking others incase he doesn't get in, which is highly unlikely as he's like a mini genius in a pink shirt. (No he isn't gay!) However he claims that it's red white and blue... like the French flag... French people get sunburn therefore go pink therefore I have decided his shirt is PINK.

So with exams looming I've not had much chance to write on my blog, compose posts in my head... yes. But not actually sit down and write anything! I'd like to take a moment to rejoice that I now have 17 followers *feels proud*

Why is this post about prostitution? Well I have spent my last two free's studiously working whilst discussing getting a job therefore also debating the possible income from becoming a prostitute... which I stupidly decided to tell the world I'd be a very good prostitute. Of course this is just one of those random things we talk about when all our heads can think about is exams and food and probably in Abby's case how long until she can insult me again!!

So anyways I have to go and get on with my work... I've spent way too much time on here allready and serious work needs to be done... by serious I mean finishing drama notes for the 100000000000000000 time!

Love to you all my blog readers and blog skippers...

xox

HarrietCorey

results! I stuck to my new years revolutions... so far!

1 : I'm going to stop eating bread
2 : I will post a blog at least once a month
3 : I'm going to know which Uni I want to go to 
4 : I'm going to take care of my appearance
5 : Audition for the National Youth Theatre

I am amazed at myself. Truly blog readers I. Am. Amazed. So far (nearly two months into the new year) and I've already stuck to... wait for it 

FOUR OF MY RESOLUTIONS

This is undoubtedly a great achievement for me, as before I've never kept a resolution more than a few weeks, but here we are  on the brink of March (a time of exams) and I've already completed two of my resolutions and am currently working on the others. So I thought you may like an update (after the depressingness of the last post I also felt I needed something more light hearted)

1: I will stop eating bread - ever since New Years Day I have stopped eating bread, well until last week where all I could eat for breakfast and lunch was bread, but until Poland I had not had a single piece of bread. Brown healthy pitta breads = yes. But no white bread what so ever and I am so incredibly pleased with myself, because before all I thought about was how soft on the inside and crunchy on the outside the French Bread was going to be! 

2: I will post a blog at least once a month - As you can see I've stuck with that one so far, and I probably will carry on with it as best I can because I'm enjoying getting home and logging onto my blog because, well, I'm an addict. There I said it. I, Harriet Corey, am addicted to blogging. Most of it nonsense! Tehe. 

3: I will know which Uni I want to go to  - After a successful ACT Day (Alternative Curriculum Time) researching Universities and other options I have decided my aim is The University of Surrey where I will study Drama and Theatre Studies. I need ABB or AAB to get in (I know, that's allot of hard work but I'll try my best) and it seems like my ideal. I've visited Guildford, the nearest town, and I love it. No not just because I found Lilo and Stitch in a charity shop for £2.50 (Although that had something to do with it) 

4: This one isn't working... yet. Check back with me in a few months and I may be looking as amazing as Cheryl Cole. (not)

5: Audition for NYT : Yes good blog readers, I did it. I auditioned on the 20th of February at London's Bubble Theatre and you know what? I loved it. I managed to get up to London on my own (first time ever) and catch a tube then walk the twenty minutes to the theatre! HOW AMAZING! 

I honestly don't think I have got in, this time around, but they did say that I was very good and I just need more confidence! How great is that? Although I think I needed to be a little more active in the group workshop! But some of those people were scary! 

So there you have it blog readers! I am one happy bunny thanks to keeping up with some of my resolutions this late into the year, I know I make it sound like October but never before have I done so well when it comes to keeping these silly things! 

Anyways I had better go and do some work otherwise that ABB will not be, and then I'll have to rethink Uni's and it's taken me far too long to decide all ready! 

Love to you all 

xox

HarrietCorey 

PS. SO close to 2,000 blog views... *mini party*

See! Even Terrence is happy for me!

   

"each rock represents one person that died"

Only when we remember
Do we learn something new

Afternoon blog readers! I'm sorry I couldn't finish the earlier post with as much gusto and enthusiasm as it needs, but I was in desperate need of a dog walk and an awful lot of tea and reflection before coming back to the computer and trying to find words. 

After visiting Auschwitz we sat in a cafe outside of the camp and drank hot chocolate (as we did every other time we came in from the cold) However our break wasn't a long one as once we had finished our lunches in a box (this consisted of a cheese and lettuce sandwich, a bar of chocolate and two very hard oranges) we got back in our coach and traveled the short distance to Birkenau (otherwise known as Auschwitz 2) the second camp which was built entirely by prisoners of the camp. Why did they build a new camp? Because Auschwitz wasn't big enough for them. It took 45 hours to burn all the bodies of just one group sent to the gas chambers in Auschwitz and so the Nazi's decided they needed somewhere bigger and "better". 

And so Birkenau was created. 30 times bigger. hundreds more killed. ten times worse to visit. 

When I thought of the camps before I signed on for the trip all I knew was about Auschwitz, I hadn't heard of Birkenau, which scares me slightly because it was so much worse to think about. We thought that Auschwitz was big but it was nothing compared to Birkenau. For a start there was nothing left. 

A handful of building and miles of fencing was all you could see. Actually that isn't right, what was the scariest thing was the "forest of chimneys" all of which were once attached to a wooden bunker which housed Jewish people in tight, filthy conditions. 

Many of you will have seen the iconic image of the railway tracks running through the stone entrance and some of you may have thought how pretty something so horrible could be. I did at one point. I'm an A-Level art student and I have moments where I forget about what something is and just look at the artistic value of it. I am ashamed to admit I did this in Birkenau. However this showed me that we can go on these trips to such places, we can walk along the same path hundreds walked to their death and still we can think of trivial and human things like "I'm hungry" and "how that would make a good photo or final piece for my art" it's a shocking realization that no-matter what we do we cannot change who we are, and although I've learnt a lot from the trip and although I have a better understanding of what happened in the camps I will still always be Harriet Corey, the school girl who loves Disney and who can go home and live her life how she wants it to be. 

You may have noticed that through all of this I have not mentioned crying at any point, that is simply because I didn't cry, not until the end. 

Right at the back of Birkenau is a stone monument made up of little stones "why?" because it is Jewish tradition that when someone dies a rock is placed on their graves to show that someone has remembered and that the deceased will never be forgotten, each indervidual stone represents one of the million who died in the death camp. However on this monument are plaques in every language you could think of which translate to: 

"Forever let this place be a cry of despair and a warning to humanity, 

where the Nazi's murdered about one and a half million

men, women, and children, mainly Jews from various countries of Europe.

Auschwitz-Birkenau 

1940 - 1945"

Our guide around the camps told us before taking us down the row of plagues all in different languages that the English translation was only put there so that we could remember and understand and that all of the other languages were spoken by people who died in the camps at the hands of the Nazi's and how English speaking people were not subjected to the gassing or hard labor in the camps. 

It was only when I stood before the plague that I felt something inside of me break and my eyes started to water. The whole time i'd spent in the camps I had started to understand, just a little, about how the millions must have felt and suddenly I realised I still had no idea, I'm English and I've always been proud of my heritage and it was only then that I realized we hadn't any idea what was happening and for a moment I felt like I shouldn't be there, stood on a stone monument dedicated to all the men, women and children. 

So I looked around at my friends, my teachers and my tour guide and I saw that I had as much right as anyone else, I don't want the holocaust to happen again, I cannot imagine anyone being bullied to the extreme like that. I cannot let it happen again and even if England wasn't subjected to the heartless cruelty we still have the right to be allowed to stand in the camps and feel sorrow for all the lives lost, related or not we are all connected and we are all part of this world and no man, woman or child should be victimized in that way. 

So readers you may ask, "what did you learn from the trip?"

My honest answer? more than I can possibly fit into words, I learnt about a time of suffering, I learnt the stories of people who lived and loved not long ago and who died because they weren't seen as "normal" by one person. More than anything I've been given a renewed sense of the value of life and I swear that I will live each of my days here on earth to the best I can and never let an opportunity pass me by, because you never know what will happen next.

Well readers there is so so much more that I could say, but for now I will leave you in peace for I have said all I can say for today but I learnt so many other things on my trip which I will surely share with you at one point or another!

Only one last thing remains for tonight and that is to say :

Thank you to everyone who went on the trip and both wonderful teachers who organised the trip. I have learnt so much and it wouldn't have been the same without any of you. 

Also blog readers a final little note, our tour guide said something which I feel I have to repeat:

"If we forget what happened to these people then each one of their spirits dies all over again" 

xox

HarrietCorey

p.s I'm copying both posts about the trip into a "page" as well as leaving them on the main blog, so that they will always be easily accessed because I really think it's important to remember. 

"If you forget, then the spirits of these people die again"

It was a hard trip to go on

but one I'll never forget

At the end of the last school year I was given a letter which in retrospect changed my life. It was titled 

"2011 Trip to Krakow" For those of you who don't know Krakow is the former capital of Poland and one of the closest towns to Auschwitz : The Nazi concentration and death camps. 

I left on Monday at 1:30 in the morning with a group of year 13 and 12 from my school. None of us really knew what to expect. Personally I expected tears, sorrow and most of all a very sad trip but the trip as a whole was the opposite of that, I know it may be hard to believe but visiting Krakow was great fun and full of laughter more than anything else. I should probably point out that Krakow as a town is barely associated with the camps. Yes it's the nearest place to stay but it has a history of it's own and we spent a lot of time getting to know the market square, the freezing cold and the history behind the town (along with our tour guide's nasal hair and boogers) 

The Church In Market Square

 Krakow as a town is stunning, we visited when everything was sprinkled in snow and despite the -15 temperatures snow constantly fell from the sky. Although it looked more like glitter than snow! 

On our first day our guide took us on a tour of the city, which was supposed to be a 4 hour walking tour, she told us marvelous fairytale stories of an Italian Princess who married the Prince/King in Krakow and brought with her exotic veggie-tables (that's how it was said much to our amusement) and a tale of a Dragon which was to be killed and now to remember this tale stands a proud fire breathing statue. We also encountered the very alien concept of having to pay to take photos... and the idea that 35 zloties was only about £7!!!! Bargains all around! 

That evening we stepped out of the cold and into a traditional restaurant, complete with a log fire and fur benches which advertised "Goulash" a very interesting dish made of soup, not in a bowl but in a pot made from bread!!!

Goulash!

The evening then consisted of us all getting into our "onesies" a great thing I fear I will never regret buying. Warm, comfy, made me feel like a baby again. Heaven in a sack basically! 

We gathered on the landing outside everyone's rooms where we chatted for a little while before deciding a group game was in order. Little did us unsuspecting year 12's know we would be subjected to a violent and compromising game which left us addicted. Yes for those of you who are reading this and know what i'm talking about I mean Ninja Slap. 

Ninja Slap is a great game where you stand in a tight circle placing your hands in the middle before jumping back shouting 

"OHHHHH NINJA"

Then you go around the circle making one move in which you have to slap someone's hand, if both your hands get slapped, you're out. Simple as that. Only the positions we found ourselves in weren't so simple... We had people on one leg, rolling on the floor, looking like they were about to propose and just standing casually around looking completely lost (I was probably the last one!) 

However that night wasn't all fun and games considering in a matter of hours we would be visiting Auschwitz and  Birkenau. 

That evening passed quickly and before we knew what was happening we were on the coach watching, or in some cases sleeping though, a video on what we were about to see. 

No words can describe the camps. During those few hours spent there I felt such raw and intense emotions nothing can compare, we were told taking photo's was aloud and that evening we discussed how it felt to take photos in a place where so many people had died. 

Personally I felt horrible, I had to force myself into taking the photos as I knew deep down that I would want evidence to come home and show people just how horrible it was, I knew that I wouldn't be able to find the right words as I so often can in other situations. 

We first went to Auschwitz, walking through the in-famous arch with the words "Arbeit macht Frei"

translating to "Work makes free" we all knew that hundreds had passed though these gates never to walk out of the other side. Where as we, a group of 16 - 18 year olds would be able to walk away back to our lives, back to our families and friends and if we chose we would never have to think about the camp again, none of us would choose that. 

No-one can really explain the size of the camp other than to say the large brick buildings towered above us as we walked through the cold and into the exhibitions showing us hair, shoes, glasses, things that we all know. Common objects which we all had or had seen within the last few moments before entering, only these objects weren't common. These were the items taken by the Nazi's after gassing the Jews. 

One of the girls on the trip, Georgia, later told me that the worst bit about the room filled with hair was it all looked the same except one bright blonde piece, this is an image she will never forget. 

Even on the last day of our trip people were still saying: 

"how much hair was there?" 

"Two tones" 

"how much did they say there was before?"

"seven tones" 

"how much was burnt or sold?"

"we don't know"

I heard this conversation at least five time son the trip and it goes to show that the numbers and the figures were so hard to comprihend, that we could never imagine just how many people were there. However where as we would not understand the numbers the Nazi's saw only numbers. Not humans, not people with blood and a family and a life, they saw them as either "useful "or "useless" one simple gesture send hundreds to either a quick death straight away or the long agonizing struggle in the camp. 

I guess you will have noticed I haven't put any picture's on here yet and that's because I don't know how. I don't know as of yet which of my photo's show best the horror or show you how hard it was walking through the camp. However I can tell you one thing, writing this blog is the hardest thing I've had to do, I want to tell you about it. I want to stop it happening again, to encourage you to go to the camps and see the site for yourself. To go and walk through the gate of Birkenaeu and feel the temperature drop even though you know it's impossible. To walk into the gas chamber and see the scratch marks from the nails of suffocating people.

But I can't type the words which would tell you all of this in a way you could understand. Maybe from what I've already said you'll understand. Maybe not. If you ever get the opportunity to go to Poland and visit the camps then please do, but don't go lightheartedly. Think about what you're going to see and genuinely want to see it, no not to see it, to experience it. Because the concentration and death camps are not  just a matter of seeing it's a matter of feeling and experiencing everything a little bit of what happened. 

So blog readers for now I need to leave you with what I've already said, because I don't think I can say anything more about the second camp: Birkenau, at least not yet. 

So keep safe my readers and remember that we went there out of choice, others weren't so lucky. 

xox

HarrietCorey. 

Ps. I will make another post about the rest of the trip but not yet :)

Valentines *nawh*

Valentines Day:

"An annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions"

I'm a self glorified romantic, I love valentines and anything soppy like that. Well I do in the movies in real life I get really embarrassed if a guy does something sweet for me, but really annoyed if he doesn't! (I know I'm weird)

However yesterday, it being valentines, I went into school all happy and looking forward to spending a day with my friends celebrating love. (I'd already had a valentines day on Sunday with the boyfriend so that wasn't in my mind at all) Anyways I went into my common room and all everyone was talking about was "Single Awareness Day"

I love Single Awareness Day, I think it's a great day but when you feel victimised for being in a relationship especially on valentines it gets a little annoying. I doubt any of you readers will agree with me, maybe you will but I think I could be alone in this thought. Wikipedia told me:

"It serves as an alternative to Valentine's Day for people who are single, that is, not involved in a romantic relationship. Some people who observe S.A.D. do so out of spite for Valentine's Day, as a Hallmark holiday, or for other reasons."

So do any of us really have a right to say "I hate valentines" when in a few years when you are married or in a relationship you'll suddenly change your mind? Should we complain so much that other single people and people in relationships (who are happy being so) feel bad and avoid you because of the complaining? But most of all do I have a right to feel upset and a little annoyed at all the people who spitefully change valentines into S.A.D? I guess not.

I hope everyone had a wonderful valentines, because even if you aren't in a relationship you are loved and the whole point is celebrating LOVE not RELATIONSHIPS!

LOVE YOU BLOG READERS

Sorry If that made no sense!

xox

HarrietCorey

RUMOUR ALERT!

TENNANT TO BE BLOOM'S DAD

The Hobbit is coming to cinemas near you!

News just found (yes, English lessons are productive) The rumours of a two part film of J.K.Tolkin's "The Hobbit" are now officially true but that's not the best part, the cast list features some of today's biggest stars. Martin Freeman (Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy) is to star Bilbo, Ian McKellen is to return as Gandalf and Orlando Bloom is back as Legolas...

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL...

Rumour has it that David Tennant (yes, THE Doctor) is to play Bloom's father Thranduil!!

David Tennant was first rumoured to be playing Bilbo Baggins but has now shot down those rumours and revealed his "true role" supposedly!

So blog readers keep your eyes on the look-out, because I don't know about you but I'm wishing away 2011 and hoping 2012 brings lots of Hairy-Footed madness (Finally I will belong in society with my hairy feet and shortness!)  - I kid.

Well I have to go to drama lessons now but I love you all :D

Ps. don't forget to link to your friends (because you love me)

xox

HarrietCorey

Death.

Death is a funny thing

We never expect it until it's too late

My next door neighbor died this week, I won't say how but he was too young to die and his life was still good, he was only in his early 40's.

I've only experienced Death twice before, one was of an english teacher in year 8 and one was my Gramndma when I was in primary school. When you're young you don't understand Death, you don't realise how it effects people. I've never been very good when it comes to my emotions, sometimes i'm happy and sometimes I'm sad but when hearing my neighbor had passed away was something different, it made me think... I think alot about life any way but this was a different kind of thought, this was the idea that we spend our lives building our career, our family and then one day it ends. Some times suddenly without reason and sometimes slowly.

My neighbor's death was slow compared to someone being hit by a train and quick compared to people who wait their whole lives just to die. Every day we watch films like P.S I love you and we think "how sweet, I want to leave notes for all my family before I die" but what happens when you don't get this choice, what happens when you have an argument you need to resolve? It's hard to know what to do in the face of death, it's hard to know what to say or what to think. A very wise woman told me that the hardest thing to do when a family member has died is to know when to laugh or smile again, the questions fly around your head "When can I sit and watch tv?" "When is it ok not to cry anymore?" Honestly, I don't know. I've never lost a close family member or friend, i've lost people around me but never anyone i'm so close to that I have such greif.

-Carrying on a few days later-

I had to stop writing this post the other day, not because I was consumed by greif but simply because I didn't have the words to say how I feel about death. I'm going to visit the consentration camps in two weeks time so i'm going to have to find a way to show how I feel about this kind of thing.

 I guess readers, what I'm trying to say is that death is everywhere, it's all around and there is very little we can do to stop it (Unless you're Dr Who, but even he will die at somepoint) However when someone dies we are left with something precious. Something we should hold onto.. their memory. I've never forgotten my Grandma or my English teacher and I will never forget my next door neighbor. They may not be a part of my life anymore but they are a part of my past and no-matter how hard we try we cannot forget our past, I still listen to a song and it brings back memories of my Grandma or read a passage of Noughts and Crosses and think of Mrs. G and I doubt I will ever be able to hear a lawn mower without thinking of James out in his garden early in the morning, I hated all these things at the time but now i've come to love them because it reminds me of people who've be taken away.

So all I can really leave you with readers is a simple quote I found randomly on the internet:

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to loose"

xox
HarrietCorey

I did a little research...

Thinspiration

Yay or Nay?

Hey blog readers! I know i've been writing a lot today what with all the crazy stuff happening but some new stuff has just caught my eye on Facebook!

I have some friends who like me adore the internet, one of whom has a lot of beliefs which she shares with us on Facebook! I love them because it gives me something to read about and new sites to look at. Recently she posted a link to this blog: click here saying how bad it was, I agree.

Now I'm a curvy person, yes that makes me bias and if you want to challenge me then go right ahead! However looking at some of these photo's has made me feel a little bit angry. 

Firstly at myself, because after looking at a few I started to feel my spirits drop and I started thinking why can't I be like that. After a brief pause I relied that this was completely stupid of me.

Secondly at the people who make up these things, I'm not trying to sit on a high horse or tell you what's wrong or right but surly creating images just to make you loose a foolish amount of weight isn't a good thing? especially if you're trying to pressure other's as well?

I admit, I look at seriously obese people and think "Thank goodness i'm not like that" (I always feel bad afterwards) but never do I look and think "God they need to loose some weight how ugly!" This is the feeling I get from some of these self named "Pro-Ana" sites who seem to think this constantly about anyone who isn't a stick. We're forever being told that "Weight doesn't matter" and for part that's true! Why should we (and I don't just mean girls) go around hating our bodies and spending time punishing ourselves just because a photograph told us to?

Photo's like this make me wonder, what have these girls had done to them to make them be so determined? Why are they so against having just a bit of fat on the body? Mainly I ask myself "Won't they get seriously cold in winter?" but that's just me being stupid and childish!

I love my body and I love being me. Why can't everyone else feel the same?

So whilst doing a bit of research into this I came across another blog (Written by a girl I know) which is completely "anti-ana" click here Personally I would follow both sites just for the comparison but some of the feedback she's gotten is brilliant because it shows that sometimes we just need someone to stand up to the people who post this stuff and people will turn and see the healthy way of life and the healthy "non bullying" way to loose weight!

I then read a really interesting article which made my Jaw drop as is never occurred to me that maybe pro-ana sites are a good thing? Not the ones that bully you into feeling fat or loosing weight but there are some out there which creates a community for Anorexia sufferers and so gives support to those suffering? I don't know if everyone will agree with me but it seems a valid point.

Having said that I can't imagine anyone who would bully their selves every morning into loosing weight and not eating. Pro-Ana seems to illogical to me and I worry how society has forced girls into feeling this is a good thing and necessary for you to find friends and for people to love you.

Yeah - That's me in all my "curvy" glory from last summer! I admit my face is a little bit odd in that photo but I'd rather be like that than the first photo! Fair enough, it's your choice in the end and it's your way of living your life. We all have personal choices to make regarding our body image but blog readers please think about what's "healthy" and what isn't! Throwing up just so a guy will like you is not natural! If anything guys prefer "meat" because it makes you cuddly  (and ultimately gives you bigger boobs)

I love you all readers and please think carefully and seriously! I'd hate for any of you to end up feeling like that!

xox

HarrietCorey

Peeking In At Windows...

I looked out of my window 

and saw a man!

So sat here casually promoting my blog, editing a website and listening to Leona Lewis (No, this blog is not about my awful taste in music) So I was casually messing around in general and I looked outside my window to see a man. Yes, I live in the country side and people walk past regally. So I thought nothing of it! 

About ten minutes passed and I stood up to stretch and looked out of the window and the man was there again! Now me being me I decided to ignore it and carry on chatting to friends. 

and then he was back I know I know I sound stupid but this man was just walking up and down. Nothing wrong with that? Well he was quiet obviously looking into mine and my neighbour's house... 

So I started to wonder and decided it was best to tell my mum and dad (who were sat reading by the fire like old fogies - oh and just so you know they didn't kill me after this morning's rush) My mum then looked out of the window and saw the man too, she then sent my dad to err... follow him... we aren't stalkers just a little bit concerned! 

So I thought nothing of it, next thing I know my mum's gotten into her car and driven off after him... I think she fancies herself as a bit of a spy!

Anyway she then decided to call our next door neighbours (who live in a house so big and grand that Madonna was going to buy it) and notify their security people, which they did. 

THEN we actually called the "Neighbourhood Watch" for my area and they reported it to the authorities and it's all very exciting because the old man at the other end of the phone said that he loved cases like this especially when it was so mysterious!

We haven't seen him since and this happened an hour ago, but then again it is dark... so we wouldn't be able to see him even if we tried. 

Love to you all! 

HarrietCorey

xox

Day Two : Faces!

I'm the oldest child

I think my parents may regret it ;)

Hey blog readers! Funny thing happened this morning. 

I woke up early, exercised (Yes, I know shock horror) and then went downstairs to brush my teeth at which point my parents called me into their room (we have three floors to our house so don't worry I don't brush my teeth in the kitchen sink, i'm not that weird) So we had a nice little chat about how the day is going to be all relaxed and hassle free. I leave the room. 

(Now i'm going to flick to my parent's point of view-ish for this bit)

Two minutes later I stick my head around the door again, tooth brush in mouth and inform them that an Ex-Boyfriend is dropping off some of my stuff at some point between 11 and 12 on his way to his new Girlfriend's house... 

Their faces looked something like this:

Why? because the clock said 10:45 - the house was a mess, no-one was dressed and my parents are obsessed with giving everyone and anyone a good impression even if all I had to do was open the door, smile nicely, take the bag say happy new year and close the door again (avoiding hitting said Ex in the face, because I would never ever do this) 

So within the next fifteen minutes my parents went into over drive, showering was a two minute phenomenon and hoovering seemed to be a brand new Olympic sport. (I think my mum managed it in all of 6 minutes and 49 seconds!) 

So by the time it got to 11 the house was tidy, family presentable and fire roaring in the fireplace (When I say roaring I really mean gently sparking a little, but if I said that then it would ruin the whole effect)

11 o'clock came and went, then 11:30, then 12, then 12:30 (by now i'm getting serious evils from the parents) It got to 1 o'clock, i'd been on a dog walk and gotten back by this time so I decided enough was enough and it was time I texted the Ex to ask where he was... 

"Hey are you dropping this stuff of or have you magically forgotten? x" 

"Errr.... Blame *insert new Girlfriend's name here*" 

No. I haven't told my parents yet (they're out shopping so I'll probably be killed when they get back) Suffice to say I don't think they'll be very impressed with me, or him for that matter. However they seem to like him so they won't blame him they'll probably say "he's just excited about seeing his Girlfriend! I'm sure you'd do the same if you were going to see Adam"  - I think not. 

I don't know why i'm telling you this! I just found their reaction to something so simple really funny!

Well onwards and upwards readers! Love you lots and lots (Like Jellytots!) 

Yup, I'm normal

xox

HarrietCorey

Day One : Changes!

As you can see, I've made a few changes

so Happy New Year!

Hello my wonderful readers and secret obsessives!

So here we are, on the brink of 2010 (Although I admit this morning I wrote "01/01/1011" on my facebook status... no brains aren't my strong point!) With the New Year comes change and with change going on all around me I decided that my little piece of heaven (My blog not my room) should have a bit of a change too!

Immediately upon clicking on my page (unless you've never really paid attention to the layout and colours of my blog) you should have seen that not only the layout but the colours and heading image have changed. I don't do amazingly at changing my layout all the time, because I'm a perfectionist and so obsess over the trivial things. However I decided to go for a slightly more colourful and not so harsh on the eyes look this time.

The blossom on the top picture I chose because it's a new year and so a "blossoming of a new chapter of my life" yes, I know how very, very sad!

Along with all the appearence changes I'm also going to start a new part of the blog, where every month I'm going to find one or two "Up-And-Coming's" to blog about, so friends, strangers really anyone who I think has a talent that should be shown. I've already got my first lined up so if you're reading this and think " I have something I want shown" then drop me an email!

That's the other new change (This is so exciting for me) I don't get many comments on my blog or questions or anything and so I have set up an exclusive e-mail for people to send comments, questions, mockings and anything else to!

harrietcoreyblog@hotmail.co.uk

so there you have it! A whole load of new changes for a brand new year!

Also I just want to say thank you so much for reading my blog, I know it gets a little random and sometimes makes no sense but that's part of the fun! I'm hoping that this "Up-And-Comings" idea will work out because there are so many people out there who I look up to for their talent and who never seem to be showcased!

So until later tonight when I'll post my first "Up-And-Coming" goodbye !

all my love to you crazy earthlings

xox

HarrietCorey

Goodbye 2010... you'll be missed!

Many people look forward to the new year,

For a new start on old habits - Unknown

Hello blog viewers, i'm sorry I haven't been very good with my posting lately but school and Christmas and countless other things have been keeping me rather preoccupied. However being the sad person I am I decided that New Years Eve was probably a good time to post (not to mention I have nothing else to do but shh that stays between me and you!)

So it's nearly here, in 11 hours the New Year will be upon us and we will all be vowing to ourselves to "not eat chocolate" and "have a boyfriend by the end of the year" silly little resolutions which most people fail at anyway. To be a New Year is about having another chance, when you write the date of the new year for the first time in a school book you realise that this is it, another day to accumulate to our life span another chance to get it right!

For many this may be their last year, they may never get to write "2012" in their notebooks or watch the fireworks in London on the Tv. One of these may possibly be the Queen, bookies have been betting that she won't last until 2012 and we will have a new head of state before the year is out. Personally I hope not, considering that if she dies we get a patriarchal society and I like that a woman is semi-in-control (she doesn't do much for the country in ways of making laws or anything but she is always there!)

I don't know about anyone else but every year I make a new resolution which I'm determined to stick to. For some of my beloved friends their resolutions are to stop drinking at parties (I don't drink so this doesn't effect me) another has said she wants a boyfriend by the end of the year (I have one so again, I can't choose that) more than a few have decided that they want to loose weight (I could do this, but then I don't really mind about my curvy figure)

So this leaves me with the personal dilemma of what I'm going to do! So I almost want to compile a list of 5 things to work towards since then I have a greater chance of making at least one of them!!

• I'm going to stop eating bread - yes, it's a health related one to start me off but bread is so bad for you and I have a bit of an addiction so I eat way way more than I should.

• I will post a blog at least once a month - I'm doing this because every so often I go on blog addicted writings and write loads and loads every week, then I have periods when I write nothing for ages. So i'm going to set a specific date and make sure I post on that day, then I know that no matter what I've at least done one (and it means you'll know when to look at my blog)

• I'm going to know which Uni I want to go to - This is a huge problem for be because I know where I want to be in the end but I don't know how to get there. At the moment i'm thinking that Kingston sounds pretty amazing but I'm not sure yet and by the end of this year I will know for certain.

• I'm going to take care of my appearance - A very girly one but one I need to work at none the less, recently I've started to go to school with my hair having been slept on the night before and no make up on (some people think this is a good thing but personally I'm not sure)

• So the final one : I'm going to Audition for the National Youth Theatre : It's about time I actually started trying a little bit harder to reach my dream and this seems a pretty logical step to get there :D

So there are my new years resolutions, whether I'll make it I don't know, but I can at least try. Another thing it's important to think about at New Year is what we're proud of in the last year. For me the highlight has to be getting good GCSE grades and making it back into WOK. I know it's a funny thing to feel proud of but the amount of people throughout my life that told me I couldn't pass my 11+ wouldn't pass my year 8 sats.

However now i've proved that I can do well in an academic situation and no-one can take that away from me.

I've also grown as a person, from loosing a whole group of friends and finding new friends to stopping arguing with my parents. Whether anyone else would agree I don't know but I feel i've become a lot more at ease with myself and people around me. Even if I nearly threw up after presenting to my English Lit class on "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" a few weeks ago!!!

So now it seems i've said too much, rambled for too long and obsessed over things that may not make sense to anyone other than me. I guess the long and the short of it is that no matter who you are or what has happened to you in the past year you should be proud of yourself, because you made it through and saw in another year.

If you're a bit of a pessimist and hate new year then just think of all the new life that's going to be born in the coming twelve months, the people you'll meet and the choices you'll make. It's just another stepping stone through your life and all the unknown should be seen as exciting not as a bad thing. New Years can be scary for many people, the uncertainty definitely scares me but you never know what will come of it, so don't panic and good luck!

Happy New Years my fellow humans (and aliens too) Have a wonderful 2011 and don't forget to check back here on the 25th of each month!!!

Love to you all!

HarrietCorey

ps. I want to set up an easier way to talk to my blog readers because this whole comments underneath doesn't really work so from now on if you want to make a comment, ask a question or just tell me how awful my blog is you can e-mail:

harrietcoreyblog@hotmail.co.uk